Ashton Gilbert
Registered User
I'm in search for a mentor or a guide in my path in search for light in NE Alabama. Over a year and a half ago I contacted a 3rd degree and hr blessed me. For the past while I have read all the old books, epistles, and doctrines concerning Masonry. I have read the Bible in the past year and a half over 20x or more including in Greek and Latin. Anyways my foundation is that while I was in a deep and dark place over a year and a half ago. I was drawn to this Bible that a family member had that nobody knew but her husbund. It was her father's and looked very very old. I asked her for it, to read it. To my surprise it was a black cornerstone edition and bore an emblem of a iron cross, two swords, a cross, and a crown around it bearing the words in Latin "IN HOC SIGNO VINCES" Which means in this sign thou shall conquer, a motto created by Constitine of the vision he seen in the sky. I talked to the same Mason that blessed me in my search for light, he told me that the mysteries that will unfold before your eyes, is just as great as the mystery on why you were called forth to that great man's Bible because his seat has been untouched since his death. Truly amazing huh? But anyways I'm not searching or looking forward to mysteries and secrets. I'm in search to become a better man, not for myself but for my family to lead them by an example. I grew up without a father figure, and suffered great traumatic events in childhood and youth, even been afflicted since youth with addiction. Please understand that I'm trying to be as honest and as humble with the up most sincere heart at all possible. I understand what Freemasonry is, but sincerely I cannot quit drinking or using drugs. For the past year and a half I have been deeply depressed because my heart is filled with sorrow unto the point of death. Ive done and tried everything I could possibly do to stop. But I'm lacking brotherly love, and unity like Psalms 133. I don't even know how to be a father, because the father figure I grew up with beat me for 11 years since my childhood going into my youth. So I figured I was also in need of a father figure in my life to merely change my way of thinking, so I can get my life back onto track. I understand under these conditions I may not become accepted, and honestly that is entirely fine regardless I'll still try to stay intemperate in all things and stay prudent in how I speak and act because the eye of the world is upon me. The reason why I think Masonry could help me, is because someday it'll give me the chance to return the favor in helping someone else, who can absolutely find light of their ownselfs. To me, be honest about everything before hand leaving nothing out, is a small step for me towards becoming a better man. In hopes of my sharing my secret for the fraternity in front of every brethren all I hope to gain is a chance to become actually free. Free from my own desires, beleifs, mind, and everything else. Free to lend a hand to a widow in distress or to merely settle an orphans cry with hope, faith, and love. And mainly to keep oneself from being polluted by the world, and that's a true religion that God our Father considers faultless. Thank y'all for letting me share. I'm looking forward to a reply, even if it was to congratulate me in trying to become a better man. That alone shall be heartwarming enough to a pure heart filled with so much sorrow. Lastly I'd like to bring up the templar motto, in giving glory to God for giving me the courage to write this before y'all with no fear at all, and to the Templar that Bible belonged to in helping a young man trying to better himself. And that I share amongst everyone. Thank you for letting me share. “Non nobis, Domine, non nobis, sed nomini tuo da gloria”: “Not to us, Lord, not to us, but to your name give the glory.” -Amen