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Mentor - Alabama

Ashton Gilbert

Registered User
I'm in search for a mentor or a guide in my path in search for light in NE Alabama. Over a year and a half ago I contacted a 3rd degree and hr blessed me. For the past while I have read all the old books, epistles, and doctrines concerning Masonry. I have read the Bible in the past year and a half over 20x or more including in Greek and Latin. Anyways my foundation is that while I was in a deep and dark place over a year and a half ago. I was drawn to this Bible that a family member had that nobody knew but her husbund. It was her father's and looked very very old. I asked her for it, to read it. To my surprise it was a black cornerstone edition and bore an emblem of a iron cross, two swords, a cross, and a crown around it bearing the words in Latin "IN HOC SIGNO VINCES" Which means in this sign thou shall conquer, a motto created by Constitine of the vision he seen in the sky. I talked to the same Mason that blessed me in my search for light, he told me that the mysteries that will unfold before your eyes, is just as great as the mystery on why you were called forth to that great man's Bible because his seat has been untouched since his death. Truly amazing huh? But anyways I'm not searching or looking forward to mysteries and secrets. I'm in search to become a better man, not for myself but for my family to lead them by an example. I grew up without a father figure, and suffered great traumatic events in childhood and youth, even been afflicted since youth with addiction. Please understand that I'm trying to be as honest and as humble with the up most sincere heart at all possible. I understand what Freemasonry is, but sincerely I cannot quit drinking or using drugs. For the past year and a half I have been deeply depressed because my heart is filled with sorrow unto the point of death. Ive done and tried everything I could possibly do to stop. But I'm lacking brotherly love, and unity like Psalms 133. I don't even know how to be a father, because the father figure I grew up with beat me for 11 years since my childhood going into my youth. So I figured I was also in need of a father figure in my life to merely change my way of thinking, so I can get my life back onto track. I understand under these conditions I may not become accepted, and honestly that is entirely fine regardless I'll still try to stay intemperate in all things and stay prudent in how I speak and act because the eye of the world is upon me. The reason why I think Masonry could help me, is because someday it'll give me the chance to return the favor in helping someone else, who can absolutely find light of their ownselfs. To me, be honest about everything before hand leaving nothing out, is a small step for me towards becoming a better man. In hopes of my sharing my secret for the fraternity in front of every brethren all I hope to gain is a chance to become actually free. Free from my own desires, beleifs, mind, and everything else. Free to lend a hand to a widow in distress or to merely settle an orphans cry with hope, faith, and love. And mainly to keep oneself from being polluted by the world, and that's a true religion that God our Father considers faultless. Thank y'all for letting me share. I'm looking forward to a reply, even if it was to congratulate me in trying to become a better man. That alone shall be heartwarming enough to a pure heart filled with so much sorrow. Lastly I'd like to bring up the templar motto, in giving glory to God for giving me the courage to write this before y'all with no fear at all, and to the Templar that Bible belonged to in helping a young man trying to better himself. And that I share amongst everyone. Thank you for letting me share. “Non nobis, Domine, non nobis, sed nomini tuo da gloria”: “Not to us, Lord, not to us, but to your name give the glory.” -Amen
 

CLewey44

Registered User
Ashton, I applaud your zeal for self improvement but I'm afraid Freemasonry won't be able to help you with some of those demons you are dealing with such as the depression and substance issues.

You sound like someone that is trying to do what is right, be honest and only wants to succeed in this game called life. I wish you the best in sobriety, healing and to your family.

As for coming into the fraternity, there is no rush on it. If you can get yourself healed physically, emotionally and spiritually then I'm sure you'd be a great addition to your local Lodge. I have known EAs (1st degree masons) in their 70s. The time is right when the time is right. All you can do is petition to join but I would strongly encourage you to wait until the time right.

Best wishes.
 

Ashton Gilbert

Registered User
I wholeheartedly agree with you. And I appreciate your loving kindness and hostpatality. I share Hebrews 13:2 "Don't forget to show hostpatality to strangers for by doing so, some have entertained angels without knowing it." with alot of people. I don't seek membership for depression and substance abuse. I seek only to better myself, to look forward into something like a passion of some sort. Here's an example of how I became a welder and my passion for it. When I was younger when I first met my biological father, there were these men of welders and iron workers. They would all tell each other, "damn so and so your the best damn welder I have ever seen." I wanted that as a kid, to become iniated along with these men. Anyways working in a Fab shop as a painter I tried to weld every chance I got. And just a couple of years ago after pursuing this passion to become a welder my biological father comes up to me and says "you have finally earned it son, your the best damn welder I have ever seen in my life." that to me was sort of an iniation in pursuit of trying my best to be great at something in the eyes of these hard working men.. That's what I'm after, pursuing a passion for something. In welding you have your good days and bad, you get burnt alot and it gets extremely hot but I still pursued it. It kept my mind busy, my hands busy, I dreamt of it. That's exactly what I want in becoming a better man for my family, in the end it could possibly become achievable in saying "damn you became the best damn man I have ever seen." it's that little seed you can give someone, made up of faith, hope, and love. What they choose to do with the gift is entirely up to them. A simple heartfelt loving kindness to an alcoholic and an addict, with a pure heart filled with sorrow. Maybe all that man needs, to pursue something greater than him could be that simple little seed. Either he'll do something with it as in to hold on to it, to cherish it and value it until it needs to be planted. Or maybe his life is in dire need of something that's unexplainable as in unity in brotherly love, encouraging him to keep holding on and to keep trying to pursue the bigger picture no matter what. I found this awhile back, and id love to share it. It fits perfectly right here as I try to apply it to myself everyday no matter what. Thanks for letting me share again.

THE MASON's WISH.

BLESS'D Urania, grant me my desire,
Thy humble votary with true love inspite,
Thy sweet influence, to my mind impart,
Bestow on me a kind, and gen'rous heart.
Instruct me in the way I ought to go,
Teach me to sympathize with others' woe;
Grant me a store, to yield distress relief,
To stop the orphan's cry, the widow's grief,
To clothe the naked, low, distress'd and poor,
And feed the hungry traveller at my door.
Wisdom to use the talent of mind,
All for the general good of all mankind;
To check in embryo, each loose desire,
Nor let one thought to wickedness aspire;
With strength support me in each gen'rous deed,
Lend thy assistance in the time of need;
When proud ambition crush the needy poor,
Shew an asylum—send him to my door.
In sweet content may I my days thus spend,
Bless'd with a brother—and a real friend;
Nor would I dread what envious man could do,
While I thy virtuous precepts did pursue;
Whoe'er pursues this real masonic plan,
Will live belov'd, and die a happy man
 
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