My Freemasonry | Freemason Information and Discussion Forum
Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!
Marriage advice
- Thread starter BroParker
- Start date
ChaplinMike277
Registered User
Bro no man can help you, my question to you is did you talk to God before you said I do
Freemason Connect HD
Freemason Connect HD
BroParker
Registered User
Yes I did but its been no talking its been demands and lies, from the both of us
Sent from my HTC One V using Freemason Connect HD mobile app
ChaplinMike277
Registered User
May I contact you for one on one?
Freemason Connect HD
Freemason Connect HD
ChaplinMike277
Registered User
Email me @ *Email address removed by mod and sent to user via Private Message*
Freemason Connect HD
Freemason Connect HD
Last edited by a moderator:
My ex-wife and I began dating in 1996, got married in 2001 and had two great kids after. We finally Divorced in 2012 and the more I look back, the better things are. The arguments, the check lists we both had on how demean the other one sucked and got really old. We remain friends to this day, especially for the kids but there's no way I'd go back. Our big issue was communication or lack thereof. If I brought something up, I was just complaining. I'm now in a happy relationship where we have disagreements, but we can sit down and talk things over with respect. December will mark our first anniversary. Best of luck Brother.
Last edited:
Dis1Recording
Registered User
jeffself
Registered User
Brother I was married for 11 and half yrs and I have two great kids from the marriage ..the problem we had was that I supported her all though college but she never supported me in masonry or anything i done .if it was any thing i liked it was foolish and a waste of time we divorced two yrs ago cause of ummm let's just say her unfaithfulness but that never stopped me from looking for happiness the first yr I concentrated on my kids and work and lodge .i kept myself busy .then I met the women who I asked to marry me .shes a great women who loves my kids as her own ..but what I'm trying to say is no matter the out come or how bad it seems there is happiness out there .if you can't find no way to work it out then sometimes it's best for both to walk away..now dont get me wrong i don't believe in divorce but sometimes it doesn't work out ..just pray and ask for god u lead u down the right path .will be praying for u
My Freemasonry HD Pro
My Freemasonry HD Pro
rebis
Premium Member
rebis
Premium Member
I kindly and respectfully disagree with ChaplinMike. The divorce rate is extremely low in our fraternity. Most of the brothers that I now have been happily married for decades and decades.
I would suggest asking some of the lodge brothers that have been married for a while. Perhaps their stories might offer some practical inspiration. As our fraternity makes us better men and husbands, the O.E.S might benefit your wife as well...and it is something you can be involved in together.
S/F
My Freemasonry HD
I would suggest asking some of the lodge brothers that have been married for a while. Perhaps their stories might offer some practical inspiration. As our fraternity makes us better men and husbands, the O.E.S might benefit your wife as well...and it is something you can be involved in together.
S/F
My Freemasonry HD
jvarnell
Premium Member
I dated my wife 4 years (high school) and have been married 33 years and I think it is more us growing up together that did this. We did not know we had a choice but to learn each others ways and work with them. I think it also helps if you don't use the words "my money", "my time" or my anything but use our. When we went to collages in deferent places I also think it was not saying "I want to so my wild oats" while I am in collage. I know all situations are deferent but the word "my" I have a problem with. When our mother died my sister and brother said my to many times and they got everything they wanted and then complained about it. The word "my" in a lot of cases is a selfish word except when it is used to distinguish descriptions that is undisputed.
I will pray for your happiness and resolution. I hope y'all don't use "my" to much when you are discussing things.
I will pray for your happiness and resolution. I hope y'all don't use "my" to much when you are discussing things.
FSUJAG
Registered User
Been married for 35 years, you will never be free of arguments but there is hope but it takes both of you. As said before it can't my or me but us. Kids are important but they will grow and leave. So your priority must be her and hers you. You have to under stand you can't fix her problems. You want to fix but what she wants is for you to listen. Most of all you both need to laugh. We use to keep a pair of water pistols at the kitchen sink. If we got into a heated argument it was up to one of us to get the pistols and shoot it out. Before you knew it we were laughing. It worked for us, maybe you could find something similar. Good luck and my prayers will be with you and your wife. Remember it will take you both to decide you want to turn the marriage around. Make sure you agree on the distraction and what it stands for.
My Freemasonry HD
My Freemasonry HD
ritualjunkie
Premium Member
I have been married for 19 years. As with other brothers here, our marriage has not been free of rough times, and has teetered on the verge of divorce more than once. The best advice I have for you, brother, is based solely on what has brought my wife and me this far.
1. Do not race your wife to see who can first get to the "victim chair."
Ephesians 5:25-28
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her (*red, here, does not indicate the words of CHRIST, but rather my own addition of highlight) 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
Hopefully your wife's feet are prettier than my buddy's, who modeled for this photo
3. There is stuff in the same passages of scripture addressed to her, but you don't worry about that. That's not to you! You swim in your lane and take care of being the man that she would love to live that way for. The question is do we have the balls to live like that? Try it! It was miraculous in my marriage. I don’t have it down yet, but on my best days, I experience what, I believe, GOD has in mind for us in marriage.
1. Do not race your wife to see who can first get to the "victim chair."
-By that I mean that, in my experience, it is the ultimate goal of most arguments to establish that you have been wronged or are in some other way a "victim."
Proverbs 25:12 says "Like an earring of gold or an ornament of fine gold is the rebuke of a wise judge to a listening ear." Now, you may not agree that your spouse is always a wise judge, but chances are that she knows you better than anyone else. A wise man listens to rebuke or correction, and evaluates if there is any truth in it from which he should learn something. A fool rejects possible wisdom without even testing himself by it. Learn to RESPOND to her instead of REACT in defense of yourself.
2. This is my best advice to ANY MAN, OF ANY AGE if he desires to have what was intended in his marriage.
Ephesians 5:25-28
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her (*red, here, does not indicate the words of CHRIST, but rather my own addition of highlight) 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
-We all want to fight for OUR RIGHTS, but it takes real courage and strength to lay down what you believe you are due to allow your love for your wife to override your rights. Everyone understands the feelings expressed in the statement "Well, I would do this for her, if she would only do that for me." or "I would act the way she wants if she would just act that way too." In the above scripture, the church was not without stain, wrinkle or blemish, but JESUS chose to lay down HIS right to demand perfection (Which HE actually had, unlike you and I) and instead sacrificed HIMSELF for the church. In other words, she does NOT have to deserve to be treated in this way to be treated in this way. You, however, can only change you, not her. Changes that come about in her will be because of the man you are becoming. Wash her feet! (And I don't just mean figuratively. I have found that doing something that really stands out or is shocking, can serve as a mile marker for a new beginning)
Hopefully your wife's feet are prettier than my buddy's, who modeled for this photo
3. There is stuff in the same passages of scripture addressed to her, but you don't worry about that. That's not to you! You swim in your lane and take care of being the man that she would love to live that way for. The question is do we have the balls to live like that? Try it! It was miraculous in my marriage. I don’t have it down yet, but on my best days, I experience what, I believe, GOD has in mind for us in marriage.
My most sincere thoughts and prayers for you and your wife.
May GOD place HIS hand of healing into the brokenness that exists in all of us, and more especially, right now, your marriage.
May GOD place HIS hand of healing into the brokenness that exists in all of us, and more especially, right now, your marriage.
Last edited:
Sometimes. one can do the work, prayerfully seeking a bride--and receiving a positive affirmation from God--and still be led into a trial of sanity and faith.
I figure God meant it for a test for my commitments to be a follower of the Christian Master... my refining fire... God's application of the try-square and, seeing I might still avoid the heap of rejected blocks, sent me back for further shaping and polishing.
For her, the facade she built was a reflection of the manner in which she wanted to live, but it required too much energy for her to maintain the facade until it became the real thing. She was a rough ashlar and ran from the sometimes painful self-application of chisel and gavel. I was her opportunity to live in a loving environment... but, bless her heart, she could not step away from her past, and the anger it created in her.
On a deployment to Iraq, my live was made hell by trials and threats foreign and domestic.
In fervent prayer, I plead, "How long am I to be her husband?" and in a moment of grace, received the answer "Until you are not, anymore."
It was another 7 years of patient enduring, always exhorting peace, before I was "not, anymore." My ability to endure finally exceeded her ability to dish it out... if you think being meek is weak, try being meek for a week... or a lifetime.
We have parted, in peace. I love her still; to deny would be a lie. But we have parted and now, I heal.
You must pray...ASK! You must also listen from the reply from the other side... and, listen with the intent of being obedient to the inspirations and promptings that come to those who live by faith. I've never known God to guide me when I was in a state of mind that had no intention of being obedient.
But, in all things, remember that every mortal moment is part of your shaping... from a rough ashlar to a stone fit for the temple made without hands. Every person with whom you engage is one of God's working tools. In like manner, you are one of the working tools God is using to shape them. Your dilemma caused me to reflect once again, upon my own recent past. My remarks will, in some way, affect those who read for good or ill.
Remember, always, that you are an example of the Masonic Ideal... and should shape your life accordingly, even in the face of anger, abuse and injustice.
God bless you, Brother. And, God bless us all.
Until we meet at the Masters feet, I remain, your Brother,
David
I figure God meant it for a test for my commitments to be a follower of the Christian Master... my refining fire... God's application of the try-square and, seeing I might still avoid the heap of rejected blocks, sent me back for further shaping and polishing.
For her, the facade she built was a reflection of the manner in which she wanted to live, but it required too much energy for her to maintain the facade until it became the real thing. She was a rough ashlar and ran from the sometimes painful self-application of chisel and gavel. I was her opportunity to live in a loving environment... but, bless her heart, she could not step away from her past, and the anger it created in her.
On a deployment to Iraq, my live was made hell by trials and threats foreign and domestic.
In fervent prayer, I plead, "How long am I to be her husband?" and in a moment of grace, received the answer "Until you are not, anymore."
It was another 7 years of patient enduring, always exhorting peace, before I was "not, anymore." My ability to endure finally exceeded her ability to dish it out... if you think being meek is weak, try being meek for a week... or a lifetime.
We have parted, in peace. I love her still; to deny would be a lie. But we have parted and now, I heal.
You must pray...ASK! You must also listen from the reply from the other side... and, listen with the intent of being obedient to the inspirations and promptings that come to those who live by faith. I've never known God to guide me when I was in a state of mind that had no intention of being obedient.
But, in all things, remember that every mortal moment is part of your shaping... from a rough ashlar to a stone fit for the temple made without hands. Every person with whom you engage is one of God's working tools. In like manner, you are one of the working tools God is using to shape them. Your dilemma caused me to reflect once again, upon my own recent past. My remarks will, in some way, affect those who read for good or ill.
Remember, always, that you are an example of the Masonic Ideal... and should shape your life accordingly, even in the face of anger, abuse and injustice.
God bless you, Brother. And, God bless us all.
Until we meet at the Masters feet, I remain, your Brother,
David
Warrior1256
Site Benefactor
Sounds like very good advise.