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I am having trouble joining a lodge ( my wife)

rider.of.rohan

Registered User
Hey guys I have a problem. I want to join a lodge and become a mason but the wife is saying she doesn't want me to. She says that work takes me away from home enough from her and my daughter. And if I join the masons that I will be gone even more. What should I do? What should I say? Any advice is accepted. Thanks guys.


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David Duke

Premium Member
This is a question only you can answer. One of the principle teachings of Masonry is that it should not interfere with your duties to your God, yourself or country. I would be very careful about joining if your wife is so opposed.

That said if the time issue is her only concern it may be that she can join you in a few visits to a Lodge she may then get a better understanding of what is involved.


David Duke
Secretary
Sam B Crawford #1418
New Caney, TX
 

Warrior1256

Site Benefactor
If your work takes a lot of your time you should focus on your family for now. In 3 or 5 years it will be easier and you should have more time for yourself.
One of the principle teachings of Masonry is that it should not interfere with your duties to your God, yourself or country. I would be very careful about joining if your wife is so opposed.
Pay attention to what your wife says. Freemasonry lasts longer than marriages.
It's a joint decision to which your wife has already voiced her position. Honor your wife in all your choices.
Agree with all of the above. Family comes first. Maybe at a later time your wife will be more agreeable.
 

Benjamin Baxter

Moderator
Premium Member
If your wife doesn't support you, it will make it difficult on your home life. I would work on convincing her to like it before you proceed much further. It is ultimately your choice. I didn't have kids when I joined masonry, My second wife supports me in everything I do. My first one did not, good thing we didn't have kids... lol. You can see ho that worked out. That being said, I have a new 10 week old and the minute she tells me that I should stay home to be with family, I look closely at what I can do to support my family and still enjoy the fraternity.

Family comes first.

One thing you could do is to look for any open events that you can go to with your wife and silently influence her to see all the good that is done through the fraternity.


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CLewey44

Registered User
As everyone has said, irritating her will only make your life difficult and the last thing Masonry should ever be is a burden. If momma isn't on board, you'll probably get your degrees and never come back or worse yet, just go to the initiation and never come back. I'm sure you've explained how important this is for you but if she's sitting there at home waiting on you and annoyed, it won't be a positive experience. If you explained too that maybe you'd only go every two or three months after the initial three degrees vs. every two weeks, she may be at ease then. Also, maybe if someone she trusts that's a Mason, such as your father or her father, talks to her about it, they could explain how good it'll be for you.
 

Bloke

Premium Member
Hey guys I have a problem. I want to join a lodge and become a mason but the wife is saying she doesn't want me to. She says that work takes me away from home enough from her and my daughter. And if I join the masons that I will be gone even more. What should I do? What should I say? Any advice is accepted. Thanks guys.


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All that's been said is good...

My partner would be gutted if I gave up the Craft, keeps me out of her hair and she loves quite a few of my brothers, she's been calling one "her future son in law" for years :)

My further advice? Find a lodge with a baby sitting circle.... she'll be all for it !!! :p
 

CLewey44

Registered User
All that's been said is good...

My partner would be gutted if I gave up the Craft, keeps me out of her hair and she loves quite a few of my brothers, she's been calling one "her future son in law" for years :)

My further advice? Find a lodge with a baby sitting circle.... she'll be all for it !!! :p

Funny you mentioned that, my wife and I went to a few OES meetings and they had a couple of Rainbow Girls babysitting in the front of the building.
 

coachn

Coach John S. Nagy
Premium Member
Hey guys I have a problem. I want to join a lodge and become a mason but the wife is saying she doesn't want me to. She says that work takes me away from home enough from her and my daughter. And if I join the masons that I will be gone even more. What should I do? What should I say? Any advice is accepted. Thanks guys.


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Were are you thinking of joining?
 

Keith C

Registered User
That's that. The end. Get back to us when she changes her mind. We do NOT get between husband and wife.

If your wife objects you will be and should be rejected. Don't petition at this point. Work out domestic tranquility first then petition.


I agree. One of the criteria given to our committees is to assure, to the best of their ability, that the candidates family is supportive of their decision to join. We meet at the candidates home with their family in the meeting. We wont meet with the candidate alone and trust their assessment of their spouse's approval.

Discuss this with your wife and do not petition until she is on-board. Your lodge does not want to become a point of contention in you family life. Your family harmony comes before Freemasonry.
 

Brother_Steve

Premium Member
The first year of US masonry is tough. Degrees and studying. Especially if you live in a state where it is mouth to ear. This means you may be out of the house multiple times a month to meet with your mentor.
 
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