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I am having trouble joining a lodge ( my wife)

Thomas Stright

Premium Member
Wait until she is good with it. We have an EA that is only allowed to study once per week.... he was initiated about the same time as I was and is still not to the EA obligation in his work. His wife doesn't like him away from home.


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Ripcord22A

Site Benefactor
I travel for work, my wife gets frustrated that im gone alot but has never not "allowed" me to go. Ive chosen not to go a few times to preserve the peace and harmony at home. When I was learning my work for the degrees i just had my coach come.by my office at the end of the day, told my recruiters to go home and then studied for about an hr. Simple text to the wife amd all was good.

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Warrior1256

Site Benefactor
Wait until she is good with it. We have an EA that is only allowed to study once per week.... he was initiated about the same time as I was and is still not to the EA obligation in his work. His wife doesn't like him away from home.


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Thats ridiculous!

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That IS ridiculous. If the wife is this much against his participation he shouldn't have joined to begin with.
 

Glen Cook

G A Cook
Site Benefactor
Wait until she is good with it. We have an EA that is only allowed to study once per week.... he was initiated about the same time as I was and is still not to the EA obligation in his work. His wife doesn't like him away from home.


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I only studied once a week in a mouth to ear jurisdiction.
 

JJones

Moderator
Hey guys I have a problem. I want to join a lodge and become a mason but the wife is saying she doesn't want me to. She says that work takes me away from home enough from her and my daughter. And if I join the masons that I will be gone even more. What should I do? What should I say? Any advice is accepted. Thanks guys.


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The most important part of your post:

the wife is saying she doesn't want me to.

If she doesn't want you to do it, then don't. Freemasonry is a huge commitment and if the wife isn't on board then you should wait until she is.
 

Mike Martin

Eternal Apprentice
Premium Member
Hey guys I have a problem. I want to join a lodge and become a mason but the wife is saying she doesn't want me to. She says that work takes me away from home enough from her and my daughter. And if I join the masons that I will be gone even more. What should I do? What should I say? Any advice is accepted. Thanks guysSe app

Join when you are older and do not have such serious family commitments that even Freemasonry demands must come first!
 

GGG

Site Benefactor
I agree. One of the criteria given to our committees is to assure, to the best of their ability, that the candidates family is supportive of their decision to join. We meet at the candidates home with their family in the meeting. We wont meet with the candidate alone and trust their assessment of their spouse's approval.

Discuss this with your wife and do not petition until she is on-board. Your lodge does not want to become a point of contention in you family life. Your family harmony comes before Freemasonry.
I follow the idea of having your partner to agree with your choices. I'm so lucky. Mine is uber-supportive (and sometimes even more enthusiast when I talk about these matters) I'm a bit surprised to read that the first meetings include family?! I was more than happy to let my wife attend the meetings at my home (I don't know the exact English word for,these two important meetings) as I was proud of her support, but this didn't seem necessary. I don't know anything yet, but instinctivly it would have felt better the other way.
 
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rpbrown

Premium Member
I was lucky, my wife agreed to me joining and all was good through the years until I became WM. Once I took the East, my time was really taken up by the lodge. Besides the normal activities and such, I would be called at work and at home all of the time. She began to get upset when I continuously got called at home about dinner time. In fact it got to the point where I would turn my phone off until after dinner to keep her happy.
After all, a happy wife means a happy life. With this said, take your time. Masonry will still be here in 5 or so years. Perhaps take her to an open function of the lodge to get to know other families. But most important is your duty to God, your family, and yourself.
 

Keith C

Registered User
I follow the idea of having your partner to agree with your choices. I'm so lucky. Mine is uber-supportive (and sometimes even more enthusiast when I talk about these matters) I'm a bit surprised to read that the first meetings include family?! I was more than happy to let my wife attend the meetings at my home (I don't know the exact English word for,these two important meetings) as I was proud of her support, but this didn't seem necessary. I don't know anything yet, but instinctively it would have felt better the other way.

I am not sure what jurisdiction you are under, nor what two meetings you are discussing.

The Process with our lodge, and at least the other lodges in our District in PA, is that a potential candidate will usually be in contact with one or another brother in the lodge, or, if they contacted the Grand Lodge inquiring about membership, will contact the Secretary. They will then be invited to attend a dinner which take place before our stated meetings each month. Usually they will attend a few dinners and get to know some of the brothers, before submitting a petition. Once the petition is read at a Stated meeting an Investigation Committee is appointed by the Worshipful Master. This Investigation Committee meets with the petitioner, at their home, with their family present. This is the only "meeting" where we expect a wife / SO to attend.
 

Warrior1256

Site Benefactor
he Process with our lodge, and at least the other lodges in our District in PA, is that a potential candidate will usually be in contact with one or another brother in the lodge, or, if they contacted the Grand Lodge inquiring about membership, will contact the Secretary. They will then be invited to attend a dinner which take place before our stated meetings each month. Usually they will attend a few dinners and get to know some of the brothers, before submitting a petition. Once the petition is read at a Stated meeting an Investigation Committee is appointed by the Worshipful Master. This Investigation Committee meets with the petitioner, at their home, with their family present. This is the only "meeting" where we expect a wife / SO to attend.
This is the way it was with me.
 
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GGG

Site Benefactor
... This Investigation Committee meets with the petitioner, at their home, with their family present. This is the only "meeting" where we expect a wife / SO to attend.
Yes, the Investigation Committee, that's what I meant, here we have 2 meets at home before everything starts/continues. Already had lots of dinners with my three macon friends that are supporting my petition :).
 
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