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Keeping it a surprise.

Sk3tchNinja

Sk3tchNinja

Registered User
I have recently come into Freemasonry on my own. I didn't know a single mason. I have taken this journey solo. Everything was new to me and exciting. The research, the process of petitioning....THE WAITING!!!! I didn't have the "inside scoop" to know as to when my petition was read, or when the voting had been completed. It was all completely blind and as a result, exciting.

So, I was at a regular communication meeting where I was allowed to sit in for a short time (I was the only EA). During that brief period, petitions were read and I recognized one of the names! I was excited to hear that an old friend was to be investigated by my lodge! He has no idea that I've had an interest in Freemasonry, let alone have already joined!

Now, I thought about reaching out to him so he wouldn't have to go through this alone...but quickly changed my mind. I didn't want to cheapen the experience for him. Granted, I will be there for his initiation, and I will be there for him any time there after...but there is a very short period where one is left wondering and thinking; left to contemplate their decision of joining. I feel this time is important and perhaps NOT knowing anyone within the lodge would show how serious a candidate he truly is.

What are your thoughts? How was your experience when you first joined?
 
pointwithinacircle2

pointwithinacircle2

Rapscallion
Premium Member
When I joined the Lodge my experience was similar to yours, with lots of waiting, and wondering what was going on. However, since my father and grandfather were both Masons, and I knew a little bit about Masonry, I thought that this was very odd. The only time anyone from the Lodge contacted me was to tell me when and where to show up to receive my degrees. Unlike you, I felt ignored and under-valued by this treatment.

So a year later when a petition was read, and I recognized the name (although I had never met him in person), I did something different. I stopped in to see him at his place of work (he had the kind of job where you could do that), saying simply that I was present in Lodge when his petition was read and that I wished to introduce myself and get to know him. He was pleasantly surprised by this. We talked briefly, and I invited him to come to my house for lunch a few days later. While he was at my home we talked about his upcoming degrees. I explained what a proficiency was, and told him that the Lodge would assign him a mentor to study for it. I showed him my books on Masonry and offered to loan him one if he wanted. I made sure he had my number and asked him to call if I could be of assistance to him. In short I did something for him that no Mason had ever done for me, I treated him like I cared about him; like he actually was my Brother.

I think of this story every single time I hear Masons talking about why men today don't join, or join and don't stay active in Masonry. Personally, I don't think you can go wrong by treating a candidate or a new Brother like a Brother.
 
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Sk3tchNinja

Sk3tchNinja

Registered User
I can empathize with your experience, pointwithinacircle2. I would have loved for someone to have gone that far out of their way. That does speak volumes to not only the fraternity, but to your character as well.
 
dfreybur

dfreybur

Premium Member
For what's in a degree I'm all for keeping it a surprise. For your friend knowing you're in his new lodge it matters less.

One friend I recommended him into a lodge near his home. He knew I was going to be at his first. I wasn't at his second. For his third I ducked in when he would not notice. At one point he heard my voice doing one of the speaking parts. The look on my friend's face at that point made the careful scheduling worth it.
 
cemab4y

cemab4y

Premium Member
My experience was a little different. My father petitioned about 6 months before I did. I had many friends who were Masons. There is nothing at all wrong with contacting the man you mention in your post, and saying "I am a Mason, too". It will NOT cheapen his experience, nor spoil it in any way. You have been trusted not to disclose any of the teachings, nor what you learned in the degree work. Telling your friend, "I just did the EA", is NOT in violation of that trust.

I feel that the EA is the most important degree, because it is the first time you are in a tyled lodge. (some may disagree).

One big surprise in my degree experience, was that my father was chosen to officiate at my Master Mason degree. (I was not informed of this). Dad was on the sidelines at my EA and FC degree, but imagine my surprise when Dad officiated at the MM degree!

My father passed away on Oct 10, 2010. My mom declined the masonic funeral.
 
Sk3tchNinja

Sk3tchNinja

Registered User
I find it incredibly interesting how everyone has such a widely different experience when it comes to the initiation process. It must have been an overwhelming feeling to have your father officiate your MM degree. I would expect it to be one of your fondest memories, and for good reason. Thank you for sharing such a personal story,
cemab4y.
 
Bro. Stewart P.M.

Bro. Stewart P.M.

Lead Moderator Emeritus
Staff Member
pointwithinacircle2 said:
When I joined the Lodge my experience was similar to yours, with lots of waiting, and wondering what was going on. However, since my father and grandfather were both Masons, and I knew a little bit about Masonry, I thought that this was very odd. The only time anyone from the Lodge contacted me was to tell me when and where to show up to receive my degrees. Unlike you, I felt ignored and under-valued by this treatment.

So a year later when a petition was read, and I recognized the name (although I had never met him in person), I did something different. I stopped in to see him at his place of work (he had the kind of job where you could do that), saying simply that I was present in Lodge when his petition was read and that I wished to introduce myself and get to know him. He was pleasantly surprised by this. We talked briefly, and I invited him to come to my house for lunch a few days later. While he was at my home we talked about his upcoming degrees. I explained what a proficiency was, and told him that the Lodge would assign him a mentor to study for it. I showed him my books on Masonry and offered to loan him one if he wanted. I made sure he had my number and asked him to call if I could be of assistance to him. In short I did something for him that no Mason had ever done for me, I treated him like I cared about him; like he actually was my Brother.

I think of this story every single time I hear Masons talking about why men today don't join, or join and don't stay active in Masonry. Personally, I don't think you can go wrong by treating a candidate or a new Brother like a Brother.
Click to expand...

I find it interesting that you were never contacted by anyone from the local Lodge prior to recieving your degrees. For most jurisdicitons within our Great Fraternity, it is customary to have an Investigation Committee visit with a potential candidate before being elected to recieve the Degrees of Masonry.
 
Bro. Stewart P.M.

Bro. Stewart P.M.

Lead Moderator Emeritus
Staff Member
I believe that it is a great idea, especially if you know a petitioner to at least make contact with them and answer any questions that you are able to do so.
 
SkiKing76

SkiKing76

Registered User
I too, joined with minimal knowledge of any one other than the brother that was my first line signer. Coming from a College Fraternity setting I was very confused by the lack of interaction other than the investigation visit. Also the lack of interaction during the interim of my degrees.
My Lodge has changed this attitude as we feel that it impacts on brother retention. We encourage those men interested ( usually friends of brothers) to attend our social events, attend dinner etc. Minnesota also allows us to open on the first or second degree to include the new brothers. That way they get a feel of what is going on and be part of the meeting but no votes. I like what we do now. I always found it strange that we dont try as much as possible to include people on the social aspect while they go through the degrees. Please note I am all for keeping as much related to the degrees themselves a mystery to make it more enjoyable.
 
Sk3tchNinja

Sk3tchNinja

Registered User
AndreAshlar said:
I find it odd that you were permitted to sit in Lodge as an EA when the Lodge was conducting business on the 3rd degree.
Click to expand...

The meeting was dropped down to EA prior to my admittance into the lodge room. They were very accommodating and wanted to include me, even if it was for a short time.
 
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