Mark Stockdale
Premium Member
So I have been recommended for a 2nd year as Junior deacon, but don't know if I want to accept. Don't get me wrong, I've loved doing the work and learning the ritual for the parts I do, (yes, we do it differently here in Scotland), but I feel as though I haven't really been the best Mason I could be.
I've had to miss out on family nights, take holidays from work etc. so I could attend meetings and have been so busy learning ritual that I've let slip my studies at work for certifications I need for my job. I've come to realise that I am not living up to my oath, because I'm putting the lodge first instead of family and work commitments, I'm not becoming a better person.
I don't want to let my lodge down, but can't see how I can continue in the role without getting my lodge / life balance sorted, which really means missing meetings in the coming year. I've discussed it with some of my brothers, but am not sure they understand how much this is getting to me.
I've had to miss out on family nights, take holidays from work etc. so I could attend meetings and have been so busy learning ritual that I've let slip my studies at work for certifications I need for my job. I've come to realise that I am not living up to my oath, because I'm putting the lodge first instead of family and work commitments, I'm not becoming a better person.
I don't want to let my lodge down, but can't see how I can continue in the role without getting my lodge / life balance sorted, which really means missing meetings in the coming year. I've discussed it with some of my brothers, but am not sure they understand how much this is getting to me.