Brotherly Ethics

Brothers,
I would like to present an ethical question to you all.

I was recently in the presents of a master mason Andy (not his real name) whom told me that master mason Bob (not his real name) is having an affair. What makes this story interesting is that Andy is allowing Bob, to have this tryst at his home.
There are a few questions from my prospective:
As Bob's personal life is his own, I am not interested in his infidelity, but should I tell Bob that Andy is telling people about his affair?
Should I tell Andy that he is out of bounds by telling anyone that Bob is having an affair, and Andy is enabling it by allowing Bob to use his home?

Any thoughts would be appreciated.
David*Vukovic

I don't know that I am the perfect person for this advice but I think you are just looking for points of view. I think in the EA we are given the gavel so that we may chip away at each other not for us to only use on ourselves. I think it is your duty to help upright the Brother in his moral delima. I think you chould speak to both guys on their image they are painting of the organization and how they were told to walk upright.

I think you know what needs to be done or you wouldn't be posting. If we can't help each other out in times like this then we may as well shut the lights off and lock the doors.

Just my $0.02.

WOW... to me Andy is just as much in the wrong as Bob for not only telling people about it but ALLOWING it to take place in his home. I agree with Josh, if we can't upright each other then turn off the lights and close the doors!

If I was presented with this situation, I would first talk to Andy alone of course, and tell him that, 1. it is wrong for him to be speaking about this in the open, and 2 He shouldn't even be letting this happen in HIS house in the first place. What does that say about his character...

Next since you don't know if this is in fact what is really happening since you did not witness it. Speak with Bob; be direct asking him if he is having an affair. You don't have to tell him how you know or from who. Watch his reaction. You should be able to tell if it is true or not by his body language. You can end that awkward conversation by telling him whether it is true or not it needs to end.

I'm not saying this is what YOU should do. This is just what I would do. Considering the information that you have given.

Andy shouldn't be defaming Bob's name, particularly if Bob told him to keep it under his hat.

I am sure you could find plenty in our teachings to justify having a constructive conversation with Bob about his "loose" ways, but still you should tread lightly.

you are put in a difficult place. make the best decision you can and defend it to the end. anyone that wants to question it can eat shit and die. end of story. i'll be there for you if nothing else.

Nate Riley said:

Andy shouldn't be defaming Bob's name, particularly if Bob told him to keep it under his hat.

Click to expand...

Is it defamation to speak the truth or just the violation of confidence?

I am probably going to catch it on this one. We can all give advice, BUT I wonder why Andy came to you in the first place? What did he plan to gain, are you someone to him in some way? I was told by a past DDGM that he was not allowed to take question not in writing. That makes a lot of since to me because you do not really know if Bob is even having an affair and unless it is effecting the fraternity is should not be our concern.