15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy

Discussion in 'The Refreshment Lounge' started by Blake Bowden, Apr 6, 2012.

  1. Blake Bowden

    Blake Bowden Administrator Staff Member

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    Here is a list of 15 things which, if you give up on them, will make your life a lot easier and much, much happier. We hold on to so many things that cause us a great deal of pain, stress and suffering – and instead of letting them all go, instead of allowing ourselves to be stress free and happy – we cling on to them. Not anymore. Starting today we will give up on all those things that no longer serve us, and we will embrace change. Ready? Here we go:

    1. Give up your need to always be right. There are so many of us who can’t stand the idea of being wrong – wanting to always be right – even at the risk of ending great relationships or causing a great deal of stress and pain, for us and for others. It’s just not worth it. Whenever you feel the ‘urgent’ need to jump into a fight over who is right and who is wrong, ask yourself this question: “Would I rather be right, or would I rather be kind?†Wayne Dyer. What difference will that make? Is your ego really that big?


    2. Give up your need for control. Be willing to give up your need to always control everything that happens to you and around you – situations, events, people, etc. Whether they are loved ones, coworkers, or just strangers you meet on the street – just allow them to be. Allow everything and everyone to be just as they are and you will see how much better will that make you feel.

    “By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond winning.†Lao Tzu

    3. Give up on blame. Give up on your need to blame others for what you have or don’t have, for what you feel or don’t feel. Stop giving your powers away and start taking responsibility for your life.

    4. Give up your self-defeating self-talk. Oh my. How many people are hurting themselves because of their negative, polluted and repetitive self-defeating mindset? Don’t believe everything that your mind is telling you – especially if it’s negative and self-defeating. You are better than that.

    “The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive.†Eckhart Tolle

    5. Give up your limiting beliefs about what you can or cannot do, about what is possible or impossible. From now on, you are no longer going to allow your limiting beliefs to keep you stuck in the wrong place. Spread your wings and fly!

    “A belief is not an idea held by the mind, it is an idea that holds the mind†Elly Roselle

    6. Give up complaining. Give up your constant need to complain about those many, many, maaany things – people, situations, events that make you unhappy, sad and depressed. Nobody can make you unhappy, no situation can make you sad or miserable unless you allow it to. It’s not the situation that triggers those feelings in you, but how you choose to look at it. Never underestimate the power of positive thinking.

    7. Give up the luxury of criticism. Give up your need to criticize things, events or people that are different than you. We are all different, yet we are all the same. We all want to be happy, we all want to love and be loved and we all want to be understood. We all want something, and something is wished by us all.

    8. Give up your need to impress others. Stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not just to make others like you. It doesn’t work this way. The moment you stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not, the moment you take of all your masks, the moment you accept and embrace the real you, you will find people will be drawn to you, effortlessly.

    9. Give up your resistance to change. Change is good. Change will help you move from A to B. Change will help you make improvements in your life and also the lives of those around you. Follow your bliss, embrace change – don’t resist it.
    “Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls†Joseph Campbell

    10. Give up labels. Stop labeling those things, people or events that you don’t understand as being weird or different and try opening your mind, little by little. Minds only work when open. “The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don’t know anything about.†Wayne Dyer

    11. Give up on your fears. Fear is just an illusion, it doesn’t exist – you created it. It’s all in your mind. Correct the inside and the outside will fall into place.
    “The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself.†Franklin D. Roosevelt

    12. Give up your excuses. Send them packing and tell them they’re fired. You no longer need them. A lot of times we limit ourselves because of the many excuses we use. Instead of growing and working on improving ourselves and our lives, we get stuck, lying to ourselves, using all kind of excuses – excuses that 99.9% of the time are not even real.

    13. Give up the past. I know, I know. It’s hard. Especially when the past looks so much better than the present and the future looks so frightening, but you have to take into consideration the fact that the present moment is all you have and all you will ever have. The past you are now longing for – the past that you are now dreaming about – was ignored by you when it was present. Stop deluding yourself. Be present in everything you do and enjoy life. After all life is a journey not a destination. Have a clear vision for the future, prepare yourself, but always be present in the now.

    14. Give up attachment. This is a concept that, for most of us is so hard to grasp and I have to tell you that it was for me too, (it still is) but it’s not something impossible. You get better and better at with time and practice. The moment you detach yourself from all things, (and that doesn’t mean you give up your love for them – because love and attachment have nothing to do with one another, attachment comes from a place of fear, while love… well, real love is pure, kind, and self less, where there is love there can’t be fear, and because of that, attachment and love cannot coexist) you become so peaceful, so tolerant, so kind, and so serene. You will get to a place where you will be able to understand all things without even trying. A state beyond words.

    15. Give up living your life to other people’s expectations. Way too many people are living a life that is not theirs to live. They live their lives according to what others think is best for them, they live their lives according to what their parents think is best for them, to what their friends, their enemies and their teachers, their government and the media think is best for them. They ignore their inner voice, that inner calling. They are so busy with pleasing everybody, with living up to other people’s expectations, that they lose control over their lives. They forget what makes them happy, what they want, what they need….and eventually they forget about themselves. You have one life – this one right now – you must live it, own it, and especially don’t let other people’s opinions distract you from your path.

    Source: 15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy
     
  2. JTM

    JTM "Just in case" Premium Member

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    I've accomplished exactly zero of these. Need to work at all of them.
     
  3. jwhoff

    jwhoff Premium Member

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    I pride myself in being a slacker! In fact, those who know me best say they coined the phrase after me. Not wanting to spend much time on this rather lengthy listing: will it please me more with less effort? I tire easily you know. :crying:
     
  4. Blake Bowden

    Blake Bowden Administrator Staff Member

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    Oh JTM...I forgot 16 and 17...Booze and Sex.
     
  5. Bro_Vick

    Bro_Vick Moderator Premium Member

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    18 Video Games...
     
  6. Txmason

    Txmason Registered User

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    Bro. Blake:)

    Thank you! That is the pick up I need! I have been struggling to pass my insurance exam and have been feeling down and fearful of not passing each time I take the test. Thank you. That list means more than I could ever say. Thank you:)

    Bro. Jerry Johnston

    Sent from my iPhone using Freemasonry
     
  7. cog41

    cog41 Premium Member

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    Nice list.

    Good use of discretion will certainly help choosing when it is the right time to "give up" and move on.
     
  8. BryanMaloney

    BryanMaloney Premium Member

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    How would these fit under ancient virtues?

    1. Give up your need to always be right: Humility
    2. Give up your need for control: Humility
    3. Give up on blame: Humility
    4. Give up your self-defeating self-talk: Patience
    5. Give up your limiting beliefs about what you can or cannot do, about what is possible or impossible: Diligence
    6. Give up complaining: Humility
    7. Give up the luxury of criticism: Humility
    8. Give up your need to impress others: Humility
    9. Give up your resistance to change: Temperance
    10. Give up labels: Humility
    11. Give up on your fears: Patience
    12. Give up your excuses: Diligence
    13. Give up the past: Kindness
    14. Give up attachment: Charity
    15. Give up living your life to other people’s expectations: Courage

    Seven out of 15 come down to humility. That says a lot about our society's current problems.
     
  9. JTM

    JTM "Just in case" Premium Member

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    pssh, why does that apply to me??
     
  10. jwhoff

    jwhoff Premium Member

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    I'm lost! Is this a "give up" or a "must!"

    :confused1:
     
  11. Blake Bowden

    Blake Bowden Administrator Staff Member

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    For JTM...a must.
     
  12. nwendele

    nwendele Registered User

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    Lofty goals that I think everyone should work on, their entire lifetime. I think I'm on the right track- but always being right and excuses are hard ones for confident men to overcome. If I did it, it was for a reason. Maybe I had the wrong information, or was assigned a task I had no business doing. I realized that an excuse is just a bad reason, or an attempt to prove you are always right. Trying to be always right is either trying to prove you are better than everyone else, or as good as everyone else. As a mason, I try and see all men as equals, on the level.
    It is rare to see a man freely admit his mistakes, and look you square in the eye when he does. In my experience, it gains a man much more respect to do that than to try to never be wrong- nobody is perfect, quit trying to make everyone think you are. It is dishonest at its root.
    End of my rant, but one of the most important things I have learned from Freemasonry.
     
  13. BryanMaloney

    BryanMaloney Premium Member

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    Actually, they are not hard for confident men to overcome. They are hard for compensating men to overcome. A confident man has no terror of admitting to being wrong. The same is true of excuses. A confident man also knows his limits--it is part of his true confidence. A man who constantly denies his limits, or even worse, constantly denies he has limits, is not confident. He is compensating.

    Yup, and both are behaviors typical of lack of confidence.
     
  14. nwendele

    nwendele Registered User

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    I can see your point, but, for myself, it wasn't a fear of being wrong or any "terror", I truly though I was right, pretty much all the time. If I did something, there was a dern good reason for it, I justified nearly everything. I have learned, sometimes, even if I still think I'm right, the other person doesn't, and I'm not going anywhere trying to justify it, just shut up and deal with it. Comes back to humility. Just speaking from my experience.
     

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