Weeeeellllllllll, I finally figgered it out why Ol' man Bill Haggard ain't been back to lodge since our last 3rd degree. Now, Bill is a purty good feller but he ain't bought no clothes since he come home early from his Hawaiian vacation. That was more than seven years ago. He come home early because he got mad when his wife informed him that she was going to book Don Ho for the Hillbilly Shrine Dance. He told her that he had a Ho in mind but it sure as hell wasn't Don. Then the fight began, but well, that was a long time ago....... Anyways, I don't know if he bought it himself or what, but he come to our last MM degree sportin' one of them three ruffi er howling wolves shirts and I didn't think we were ever going to get through dinner. I mean to tell you them Eastern Star girls went wild. My Thelma included. It was sickening. I couldn't stand it and it was so bad I had to leave early. Just the thought of Thelma referring to ol' man Haggard as "Sweet William" is still too much to take. Apparently, its been too much for Bill, too. He told our Senior Deacon the day before yesterday that The Eastern Star ladies had been aggravating him so much to join their chapter that he was thinking awfully strong about demittin' everything and join up with the Oddfellows.