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"Insanity." (with 2 quotes, from Brethren Carl Jung.)

Ashton Gilbert

Registered User
I know that it has been a long while since I have last, posted on these Forums. Yes, truly it may have been foolish, for posting personal writings here.. What I was trying to do, is simply have my voice heard.
For I was in a dark place,
(still am, but the greatest fraternity of just good men gave me a box of matches)
But if I couldn't receive, positive or somewhat some kind of form of feedback from an amazing fraternity of Men, then why would I ever consider trying to become one, and become like minded as others..
You know, why I wanted to become a better man, in the first place?
I don't want to go in-depth about my life, but you see I had to grow up without both of my parents, my mother had gave me up for an adoption 2 weeks after I was born. All my life, she was in and out of the state penitentiary and jails and all.
My Dad, never knew of my existence until I had become 14, and that's because he ended up in the State Penitentiary before I had become Born...

Yes, I agree wholeheartedly 100% with the old school masonic reader that is possibly reading this right now, and say's to himself,
Oh dear Sir, for I hope that it doesn't have to be, to simply be included in the,
"Words of Wisdom Section."

Anyways, when the time had came when my wife was pregnant with our first Child. I had seen God, the Father of all Creation in the Clouds descending down with his Heavenly Kingdom, and revealing an image of my Son, coming down the sky reaching out to a Star, that is brighter than a thousand Suns, I seen the Seraphim's and Cherubims, and these enormous winged heavenly serpents flying above his Kingdom spanning from one side of the Sky into the other, as far as North is to South, and as wide as West is unto East.... That all happened in Broad Daylight, I heard the Trumpets and Chariots and the Singing of Legions upon Legions..
Enough of that... Nobody still believes me anyways....
After this had happened, I had went to a family members place, and asked his wife...
"I would love to see Your Dad's Bible."
Both had become completely stunned, and even I didn't understand why I even asked this. She would not tell me, for she was so stunned.
I eventually had gone outside, and sat in their vehicle ashamed and hateful towards myself.. Until I looked up on the dashboard of their vehicle, and seen this black book, that was so very old..
"It was a Black Cornerstone Edition, Masonic Holy Bible. That had Constitine's Emblem on the Cover in Gold Leaf, and said: "IN HOC SIGNO VINCES."
For that, was the beginning of my search for light...

I ended up studying extensively upon many things, and I have absolutely became as dumb as a box of rocks. One thing that comes to mind is in the beginning of my journey I was studying about Carl Gustav Jung, and that's where I had written this Quote from, that explains my personal journey perfectly.

End point everyone, I apologize sincerely for such an enormous post. Forgive me one time guys, for it's about to get better.

The very reason why I wanted to join the greatest fraternity of Men is THIS:
"For I didn't know, nor understand how to be a Father to my amazing babies. So I had figured, after I had turned the first page in that Old Masonic Holy Bible, and it saying: 'Making Good Men Better.'
My tears had flowed from the Stars that are in my Eyes, and they burned cold against my cheeks and forearms.. For started to believe, that for me to be the greatest Dad that I could ever possibly be, is to try and join the greatest fraternity of Men. . I had made it my passion, even went above and beyond in asking for a mentor upon this site..

Last year, I finally was able to get me a mentor after my journey, and in Search for Light for 3 Years straight.
Just right before, the day me my wife's daughter was born.
Above all, I will not reveal him. For he had asked me not to. But I will love to share a bit about him.
He is a 32° Within the Scottish Rite of Freemasonry, as well as a White Cloak Templar, in the York Rite of Freemasonry.
He's over the entire place within where he's from in the 'Wonderful World of Freemasonry', as being an 'Inspector of the Lodges.'
Not only has this man became my mentor in guiding me into Light, but he has absolutely became my best friend.
And after I had told him why I wanted to join, he allowed me to write a Father's Day Letter to all Freemasons, who allowed themselves to read it..
For I have not left anything out, of who or what I am, and everything else. That being said everyone, I would love to close to close this post. Of the things, of which I had said to him today, when he spoke of me to his fellow Brethren....

"Keep your nose clean and just remember we meet on the level act on the plum and part upon the square. I just got back from an inspection of one of our local lodges in the area for the Master Mason degree and I was asked to be the senior deacon for the degree today. A conversation had came up between me and another Master Mason how should newly initiated member should conduct themselves as being a Freemason in a modern day society. So I thought that you may be the greatest candidate to explain to my fellow Brethren, on how a Freemason should conduct themselves in daily life. Remember temperance prudence and justice keep them in your back pocket."
Then I told him:
"Oh wow that's awesome. And I'll remember that.
I was close. .
But it shall be efficient enough to conduct myself in exercising it. So that I won't tremble in fear of being shy, nor ashamed of myself on how I should be able to speak to individuals with such an amazing history."
Then he tells me:
"Ashton, your going to do just fine. Everyone is listening.
The Question is,
"If you would happen to meet a mason conduct yourself upright, what exactly does this mean you?"

Indeed Sir, I agree wholeheartedly. Within the boundaries of acting dumb as a box of rocks. With the lock of concealment on my tongue, and greet a good man with a firm handshake, unless he asks for the Masonic Grip.
Don't speak of such eloquent speech, and there is no need for talking about matters of my past. For it is humble, to speak of the light within the near future.

And never, ever speak to a non-mason who says they are one, besides test him in the most simplest little thing that Freemasonry has to offer, in example what are first three craft degrees, or when is a Mason finally able to wear his Ring?

Indeed Sir, you have taught me well. But I simply don't understand why I deserve such an amazing blessing.
And also....
Never, ever home school. If an individual wants to know about Masonry, refer them to their local lodge. And ask them if they want to grab a petition, and last but foremost, don't forget to greet and meet the Brethren at the Lodge where the individual wishes to become a member of the greatest fraternity of Men at.
And also, no by all means I have never considered your mentorship as a cheat sheet.. my cheat sheet I spoke of, is the things of God..
I have a high mutual understanding of the greatest fraternity of Men in the World, by understanding that it is in my best interest to conduct myself in these amazing facts... For great men, has died and been killed in the most horriblest way's for this Order.
In example as I am speaking of, I am simply speaking of DeMoly. For, his sacrifice is how all Brethren shall conduct themselves..
Therefore it's a sacred bounding Oath to the good men who has travelled the journey before me, to simply be just an upright mason, remaining on the straight and narrow path, between Strength and Beauty. .
For the very first thing you have taught me, was: "Those stairs will be overwhelming, but Ashton there is no elevator to success, so we all must take the Stairs." Therefore, that being said I should be proud of myself for being a good man. . As well as you, and every other member of the fraternity.

And also, a last and foremost word for you Sir personally.

For the Scriptures Says:
"Luke 6:40 - "The student is not above the teacher, but everyone who is fully trained will be like their teacher."

Then he tells me..:
"Ashton, thank you sincerely for sharing before this amazing Lodge Meeting. I wished you could see all the Brethren within this Lodge meeting clapping their hands for you. For they are all telling me to tell you, to be proud of being a good man within all of Freemasonry and that you simply have set a perfect example of why we exist, and of who we are. Remember always Ashton we are just a Brotherhood of Men under the Fathership of God.

Thanks everyone, for y'all deserve the Credit.
For I haven't even became initiated yet. But y'all are..

Here, is the Message I sent to my mentor last night. That allowed me to say the above....
Goodnight everyone.

Song: "The Strumbellas - Greatest Enemy
Elvis Presley - We can make the Morning.
Elton John - I guess that's why they call it the blues ..

Since he owns such an amazing esoteric library within Freemasonry, "he even included that they called him the Masonic Library at his Home Lodge."
I asked him to look out for a "Black Cornerstone Edition of the Holy Bible that has Constitine's Emblem in Gold Leaf that say's, "IN HOC SIGNO VINCES" and that's what I was looking for... Because I must admit, that I am absolutely selfish for it. Simply because if something may happen to me today. My Son will inherit my Bible, and he'll know with all his heart that I loved it so much.
Because that's all he has ever seen me do, is read my Bible and Write...."

So I figured, that if I could find a near resemblance to the Bible that ignited the light within my own chest. I was hoping that it may do it with him also. And if I had it today, and died tomorrow... And my Wife makes sure he received that Bible, as soon as he becomes of age.
Even the greatest depths of Hell alone, couldn't hold back the tears of joy of knowing that my family will be okay without me, with my little man trying to get in touch with a Templar Mentor himself, except for he'll have the chance of being a greater man than me, on a seven-fold scale...
That's all that was promised to me Sir, is to simply die a well beloved and honest man. And a greater future for my family as long as I worked towards it... I hope that if anything should happen to me, I hope that all my work wasn't so much in vein in asking for a humble request..
For if I should ever become a Master Mason my wages are only corn wine and oil.. I'll gladly give up all three, for a replica of that Bible, be that if I should ever become a Freemason at All. For I would hope that my descendents, descendents would cherish a heirloom that I have tried my best to achieve. For I cannot help how it was that I had been raised, and where I started when I first took my first breath on this World. All I know is that I consider myself a Mason, not an F&AM and I do believe that there is a difference. I am a mason just as like in the days of old. . For when it first began, and I feel as if that I may become killed, or even shunned within a society because of the knowledge I hold within my head. . Sir, with all honesty.... I am a Mason of whom that doesn't allow himself, to be in fellowship with the others of whom that Is within the Craft. .
Therefore please forgive me this one time Sir.."

I'm sorry, I'm going to bed. .

"Insanity, is the Shadow.
Of a Genius Man.
For it is the level, and the measure of the individual.
On how far he is willing to go,
To make himself entirely whole."
-Ashton G.

"He who wishes to take the Kingdom of Heaven by storm,
to conquer and eradicate evil by force,
is already in the hands of evil."
~ Carl Jung,
Conversations with C.G. Jung, Page 47.