Lodge Officer Capabilities

Discussion in 'Masonic Jocularity and Merriment' started by Blake Bowden, Oct 5, 2009.

  1. Blake Bowden

    Blake Bowden Administrator Staff Member

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    WORSHIPFUL MASTER
    Leaps tall buildings in a single bound
    Is more powerful than a speeding locomotive
    Is faster than a speeding bullet
    Walks on water
    Gives policy to God

    SENIOR WARDEN
    Leaps short buildings with a single bound
    Is more powerful than a locomotive
    Is just as fast as a speeding bullet
    Walks on water if the sea is calm
    Talks with God

    JUNIOR WARDEN
    Leaps short buildings with a running start and a favorable wind
    Is almost as powerful as a locomotive
    Is faster than a speeding airgun pellet
    Walks on water of a swimming pool
    Talks with God if special dispensation is given

    SENIOR DEACON
    Barely clears a garden hut
    Loses a tug-of-war with a train
    Can fire a speeding bullet
    Swims well
    Is occasionally addressed by God

    JUNIOR DEACON
    Makes high marks on the wall when trying to leap buildings
    Is run over by trains
    Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury
    Doggie paddles
    Talks with the animals

    MARSHAL
    Runs into buildings
    Recognizes trains two out of three times
    Is not issued ammunition
    Can stay afloat with a life vest
    Talks to walls

    STEWARD
    Falls over doorsteps when trying to enter buildings
    Says "Look at the choo choo's"
    Wets himself with a water pistol
    Plays in mud puddles
    Mumbles to himself

    SECRETARY
    Lifts buildings and walks under them
    Kicks trains off the track
    Catches speeding bullets in his mouth and eats them
    Freezes water with a single glance
    HE IS GOD !
     
  2. JTM

    JTM "Just in case" Premium Member

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    lulz. i figured out where it was going by the time i got to JD.

    pretty epix.
     
  3. owls84

    owls84 Moderator Premium Member

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    That is a little out there. However I have been known to kick a train or two off the tracks.
     
  4. scottmh59

    scottmh59 Registered User

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    :18:lol
     

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