Masonic Jokes

Discussion in 'Fun and Notables' started by Bro. Kurt P.M., May 15, 2009.

  1. Bro. Kurt P.M.

    Bro. Kurt P.M. 2018 14G DCO Premium Member

    Any good Masonic jokes out there that you would like to share?

    Here is one courtesy of

    Pat & Bill had been Lodge Brothers for many years. They had promised each other that the first to go to the Grand Lodge above would return to tell the other whether there really were Lodges in Heaven and what they were like. By and by, it came to pass that Bill went first.
    One day shortly after, Pat was working in his garden when he heard a whispered voice, " Pssst Pat!" He looked around but saw nothing.
    A few moments later he heard, now quite clearly " Pat! Its me, Bill!"
    "Bill" Pat exclaimed, " are you in Heaven?"
    "Indeed I am" said Bill.
    Pat paused for a while to get over the shock and then said "Well, Bill, are there Lodges up there in Heaven?"
    "There certainly are, Pat. There are Lodges all over and they are quite magnificent, equal or better to Great Queen Street. The meetings are well attended, the ritual is word perfect, the festive board fantastic and the spirit of Masonic Fellowship is all pervasive."
    "My goodness, Bill," said Pat, "It certainly sounds very impressive but for all that you seem rather sad. Tell me old friend, what is the matter."
    "Well, Pat, you are right. I have some good news and some bad."
    "OK, so what's the good news?"
    "The good news is that we are doing a 3rd this coming Wednesday"
    "Great" said Pat. "What′s the bad news then?"
    "You′re the Senior Deacon!
  2. jonesvilletexas

    jonesvilletexas Premium Member

    Just got to love it.
  3. Bro. Kurt P.M.

    Bro. Kurt P.M. 2018 14G DCO Premium Member

    I know there are some good ones out there .....
  4. Skogie

    Skogie Registered User

    Don and Jack had been close Lodge Brothers and freinds for many years. They were Best Man at each others weddings, Godfather to the children, etc, etc. They also, after Lodge Meeting, went to one or the other's home for a nighcap.

    One evening Don, being in a reflective mood asked Jack how long they have been good freinds. Jack, after thinking about it for ahwile, said "I guess about 50 years. Don then told Jack that he had obtained, many years ago, a bottle of rare 200 year old Scotch Whisky. He had been saving it for a special occasion that, somehow over the years just never happened and he never had opened it. Then Don asked Jack that, when he died, which according to his Doctor was going to be within a year, to please pour that 200 year old bottle of whisky over his grave after he passed on and was buried.

    Jack agreed, and sure enough 10 months later Don passed on to be with the GATU. After the funeral service and burial and everyone had left, Jack pulled out the 200 year old bottle of whisky. "Don my good freind, I remembered my promise." Jack popped it open took a long swig and then said "However, do you mind if I pass it though my kidneys first?"
    Collin Thorsen likes this.
  5. JTM

    JTM "Just in case" Premium Member

    good stuff, good stuff.

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