Upon googling the internet with clicks, I found Masonic limericks were nix. Why is that so? I really don’t know; So I wrote some myself - just for kicks. There once was a Freemason called Mitchell Who had trouble remembering his ritual. The Master said, “Son, The learning’s not done Until it becomes habitual.†A visiting Brother from Texas Stood To Order in Lodge right next to us. He gave us a fright As he stepped-off with his right; He just happened to be ambidextrous. There was a Freemason from Clydes Who wore a newspaper apron. He confides, The apron caught fire And burned his entire Front page, sports section and classifieds. The Brethren from Lodge at The Grange, A light bulb they had to exchange; It no longer would glow, But the Master said, “No, In Freemasonry nothing can change.†A one-legged Mason from Myrtle Once had a race with a turtle; But the turtle won fair Because the man on the square Went round the fourth part of a circle. There was a young Mason from York Who felt like a bit of a dork, In his black penguin suit And white apron to boot, ‘Till he went to Grand Lodge for a gawk. Three ruffians thought it was simple To steal the builder’s secrets, until He prevaricated - said “Nay, I’ll not betray.†So they served Hiram Abiff in the temple. There was a Lodge Chaplain named Bell, Who read words from the VSL. Sometimes he’d mutter, Sometimes he’d stutter, And sometimes he’d even yell. Two came for the first Tracing Board, One by free will and accord; But the other old bloke, This is no joke, Came by Model T Ford. There was a young man named Jason Who wanted to become a Freemason; But when a Brother of note Said, “You’ll ride the goatâ€, Jason from the Mason did hasten. The Master asked the Candidate from Fyfe, “In times of difficulty and strife, Tell us, you must, In whom do you trust?†The Candidate replied, “In the wife.†There once was a PM from Mayne Who did nothing in Lodge but complain. That wasn’t the way It was done in his day. He really was a terrible pain. Testing a Lodge visitor at Doncaster, Once caused an embarassing disaster. When asked for the Word He said, “Don’t be absurd, You should know that I’m the Grand Master!†The Stewards at a Lodge in Turin Served the Festive Board, with a grin. But the size of each plate Wasso overweight, The Junior Warden said, “Halve it, and begin.â€
Those were great Blake! In October, I went to a Tranquility Lodge meeting, said meeting was in honor of the passing of their WM, Donald Sargent, DDGM Masonic District #21A. I am ambidextrous and while I was signing in with my left hand, a brother behind me said, "Brother, you are using the wrong hand." I replied, "Oh, Sorry!" and switched to my right and completed the process. The other brother said "That was the beginning of a joke, but I have never seen anyone do that before, I'll never say that joke again." I laughed and said I enjoyed doing that to people, ESPECIALLY when they open the door for me, it really blows peoples mind, and most of the time I don't even realize what hand I'm using. It was funny! Robert
