Not wanting to go to lodge anymore.

Discussion in 'General Freemasonry Discussion' started by Levelhead, Apr 1, 2016.

  1. Levelhead

    Levelhead Premium Member

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    This is sad. I hate when theres something you love to do and are passionate about but it becomes not fun and stressful so you are forced to stop due to a situation.

    Well im the JW in my lodge but me and the SW who at one time i considered my best friend had put a bad taste in my mouth to where i don't want to attend lodge and maybe either demit or just attend my other lodge more.

    But being the JW i have a duty to fulfill until the end of the year.

    Its a long story but doing business with a friend of for that matter a "brother" is never a good idea.

    Just sucks because my wife told me today "you were so passionate about Freemasonry and your lodge and now your just different and seem like you are drifting away".

    The reality of that really hurt me.




    Sent from Mossy Oak Swamp Bottom
     
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  2. Classical

    Classical Premium Member

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    Oh no! Sorry to hear that, for what it's worth. Pray about it?
     
  3. Bloke

    Bloke Premium Member

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    How about some trite sayings like time heals all wounds and the lowest ebb marks the turn of the tide.

    Sorry you've had some sort of bad experience brother. If the conflict is personal, but makes it even harder... sound like you've got some dishonourable treatment...
     
  4. Levelhead

    Levelhead Premium Member

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    Just a shame.


    Sent from Mossy Oak Swamp Bottom
     
  5. Bloke

    Bloke Premium Member

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    Was he dishonest in his dealings or just incompetent... ?
     
  6. Levelhead

    Levelhead Premium Member

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    Well in respect i would not tell the story because its unfair to a person who is not here to defend themselves.

    Pretty much in a vague nuttshell..

    He was doing some work. He got me into it. But he was un insured. And could only get paid cash due to personal situations.

    He would work for cash only.

    Big contracts wanted ins and pay check to a company.

    Well im insured, and own a company. We ran everything through my company with my ins. and was running his money through my company.

    The big companies said "well your guy cant work on our jobs with no ins or 10/99.

    I asked him to chip in on ins and were good. He refused and kept wondering why they werent using him no more and using me.

    I mean really?

    Now i guess he's sore thinking im stealing all the work.

    The work i do is alot of OSHA job sites and 1mil ins is required for anyone who steps foot on a jobsite.

    And somehow im hearing from other brothers about out "friendship problem" even the WM tried to talk to me about it. I told him "thats personal and not lodge biz" guess the guy is crying in lodge trying to make me look bad.


    Sent from Mossy Oak Swamp Bottom
     
  7. Zack

    Zack Registered User

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    I wondered why I didn't see you last time I was there.
    Please stay a member somewhere in the district. A lot of lodges can use your ritual abilities.
     
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  8. Levelhead

    Levelhead Premium Member

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    Thx for the kind words. Makes me feel good.
    I will. I have texted the brother and tried to reach out to him but have not gotten a response.

    Ive always wondered why he got run out of his recent lodge and his prior lodge, then had to come back to his recent lodge once the people he pissed off have left , but now i know why.
     
  9. Warrior1256

    Warrior1256 Site Benefactor

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    I'm very sorry to hear of your troubles brother. Will say prayers that this is resolved in a good way.
     
  10. Levelhead

    Levelhead Premium Member

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    Im great full to just have brotherly support.


    Sent from Mossy Oak Swamp Bottom
     
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  11. gshukha

    gshukha Registered User

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    I think that you should see if you can fix things with him , if not just go to another lodge, if you love masonary dont just go

    Sent from my STV100-1 using My Freemasonry Pro mobile app
     
  12. Levelhead

    Levelhead Premium Member

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    I have reached out to him 3 times to meet up, he stood me up all 3 times. Then i texted him last night and still no response. He's a compulsive phone user and on fb nonstop so i know he got the message but wouldn't answer back because he was posting on FB.


    Sent from Mossy Oak Swamp Bottom
     
  13. coachn

    coachn Coach John S. Nagy Premium Member

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    Bro.! Please stop seeking to reconcile with him. You shall never find peace and satisfaction with this man based upon the game that is being played by him.

    From what you wrote, you did him a favor and he didn't want to reciprocate professionally. He didn't want to contribute his fare share to assure that he could continue working with you. That reeks of obligation violation.

    Furthermore, payment in cash means he doesn't want to have his income tracked. The fact that he will work for "cash only" tells me that he is involved in an unethical and potentially illegal game financially and wants to usurp whatever rules that govern his financial situation.

    You are doing things legally, morally and ethically and he expects you to not do this to have him involved. He does not have the right to complain if you offered him an opportunity to work with you under specific conditions that prevent YOU from getting in trouble.

    Brother. Stop the game. He is offering you a place in his Drama Triangle to control you and to obtain power over you and over all that will listen to his "story". He is engaged in emotional blackmail and manipulation and that is not what friends or Brothers do to one another.

    Don't give it to his game. Accept that he doesn't see that he is not one the level with you, not being upright and is being immoral in his choices and expectations. You deserve better and should demand it.

    If all that you say is true, you have done NOTHING WRONG, other than allow yourself to feel unnecessary guilt over all this.
     
  14. Bro Asad

    Bro Asad Premium Member

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    Don't leave Masonry based on the actions of one or even a few brothers. I've been in a situation where I feel the same way you do; Masonry is what you make it, right? Getting caught up in the intricacies of lodge/personal politics/issues will result in you losing sight of the "bigger picture". What I witnessed in lodge should be more than enough for me to denounce Freemasonry and never look back.. but I refuse to believe that the actions carried out by a few brothers ecompasses the character of the organization as a whole. Stay. Make uninformed brothers more aware of the tenents of Freemasonry, otherwise nothing will change for the better. As someone else suggested, you can always join another lodge. I've received more 'light' and love from jurisductions outside of my state than in my own mother lodge. Despite this I love all my brothers the same and decided to stick with my mother lodge in hopes that our situation gets better, and it will. As it will for you
     
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  15. CLewey44

    CLewey44 Registered User

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    If it makes you feel any better, I have learned from your mistake. I've considered doing business with guys from my lodge, particularly closer friends, and now I know that it's a big risk. I know it's cheesy, but money really is the root of all evil and can split people (family, spouses, friends) up quicker than anything. When we all meet in that house not made with hands, this money business won't mean a thing. I also think you are seeing his true colors and better sooner than later. Maybe he was in it all along for the wrong reasons.
     
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  16. Levelhead

    Levelhead Premium Member

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    Thank you and it seems like ive heard words that describe this person. One word ive heard and is the main word i use when speaking if this person is MANIPULATION. This is the main word that i can use to describe him.

    He manipulates people to get info.

    Cant believe that from my story that word was seen. Thats 100% on point.


    Sent from Mossy Oak Swamp Bottom
     
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  17. Bill Lins

    Bill Lins Moderating Staff Staff Member

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    It sure sounds like that's the case. Coach Nagy said exactly what I was thinking, but in a much more concise & elegant manner.
     
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  18. darenjames

    darenjames Registered User

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    I have been here three times with the same person and just ignored the signs. It became a point where my anger almost caused me to become violent. But I took a step back and realized that I am in control of the situation. Everything I do is a reflection of me and if a brother who clearly knows what he is doing , does not talk to me because of his own negativity then so be it . Now I just slowly detached myself from the politics because I know my name has been tainted but as long as I am not fuelling the fire there is no fire. I still go to meetings and still do my part but I just act like a proper mason


    Bro Daren James
     
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  19. Levelhead

    Levelhead Premium Member

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    Thx! The crappy part is im the JW hed the SW. Im looking towards the east. But hell manipulate people to make sure i DO NOT go into the west next year. Thats just his style.

    He's the kinda guy who if there was a new petition in. And the person he didn't like, he would make up stories and persuade people to vote against.

    All with mental manipulation.

    The guy is a fired cop so at one time he was a cop. But don't use leo style mind work on innocent people to get your way.


    Sent from Mossy Oak Swamp Bottom
     
  20. coachn

    coachn Coach John S. Nagy Premium Member

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    Brother,

    Because of my varied professions ( I wear 4 business hats), I have many opportunities to do business with Brothers; and I do just that -- Business.

    I now have engagement letters that establish what is required and expected in any business arrangement. Very few Brothers dishonor me due to me:

    1) being up front with what is expected to be engaged in and delivered from each of us; and
    2) expecting them to do the same.
    -- And doing all this IN WRITING!

    When I am asked to participate in anything underhanded, no matter how slight, I say no deal and move on.

    It's an interesting experience to have a Brother spell out in writing what they expect from me. Most will not spell out anything underhanded because they realize by writing it out, they are admitting that they are asking me to engage in something that is wrong to some degree (yes, punned allusion intended!).

    I have many great business deals with my Brothers and I shall continue to do the same as long as I am still working.

    I've had a few dishonoring engagements that drove me to use an engagement letter for all opportunities. These dishonoring Brothers are still in debt to me for what I provided to them. The interesting thing is that these Brothers are so bogged down due to other accountabilities that they are trying to out run that they will likely go to their death never cleaning up the messes that they are making. The sad aspect is many of them have no clue that they are engaging in life dishonorably. They have no clue that the obligation about wronging, cheating and defrauding covers not only material (physical, legal, moral or ethical) things, but intellectual, emotional, and spiritual things as well.

    Case in point, by asking you to engage as your Brother desires you to engage, how would you be wronged, cheated or defrauded out of material (physical, legal, moral or ethical), intellectual, emotional, and spiritual values that you hold in high regard? As a business professional, I see quite a few things immediately and I hope that you do too.

    I hope this question puts a different focus on your situation!

    The engagement letters I currently have and employ have helped me minimize the influence of unethical and irresponsible Brothers and others on my life and I waste less time with these sorts than ever before. I whole heartedly recommend that you do the same into the future.

    You have had a lot of lesson presented to you in this situation. They were lessons only though. If you wish to learn from them, your behavior must change in line with the lessons presented.

    You could avoid doing business with your good Brothers. That behavior change might protect you from them but it won't protect you from the true problem that you caused by not have good business practices in place when it comes to working with anyone - known or unknown.

    You can also do business with your good Brothers and others in a way that protects you and them from the situation at hand.

    You know what you should do to assure good business into the future. Do it.
     
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