Wife having a problem with Freemasonry, she wants

Discussion in 'General Freemasonry Discussion' started by fasttito, Jan 22, 2014.

  1. fasttito

    fasttito Registered User

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    Before I met my wife I was a Freemason, now after 3 years together, 2 years married she has a problem with me going to meetings she rather have me go to church with her. Church and S.C. are on the same night (Tuesday). She told my Pastor I'm a Freemason he flipped out and is100% against it. She wants me to give up being a Mason but I'm a Mason for life in my heart.. What should I do?

    Thank you


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  2. PHA KD#50

    PHA KD#50 Registered User

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    Re: Wife having a problem with Freemasonry, she wa

    That's a tough one brother, I don't really have any advice but I wish you the best in dealing with this issue and I will definitely pray that the Great Architect gives you wisdom... /G\


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  3. K3vin

    K3vin Registered User

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    Re: Wife having a problem with Freemasonry, she wa

    This is a similar problem that I have seen in my own life.

    My grandfather was a mason for 68 years. I became a mason last year, I am 44, so my grandfather has been a mason my whole life.

    When I was about 7 my mother started bringing me to church, where I learned of the "evils of the world" rock and roll music, any alcohol, the occult, and Masonry, for a short example of the list. I was told many reasons and was read many scripture passages that "proved" that Masonry was "evil". It wasn't until I actually started learning about Masonry (from actual Masons) that I realized that there is no "evil" associated with our fraternity.

    I would bet that the objections are based on fear and speculation, based on the fact that they have no knowledge of what we really are as a fraternity.

    The suggestion I would make is to educate your wife as to what we really stand for. I recently read "Freemasonry For Dummies" because I have seen it recommended here by a few brothers and it was very good at explaining what we really are.

    I hope this helps Brother.

    Kevin


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  4. Zaden

    Zaden Registered User

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    Re: Wife having a problem with Freemasonry, she wa

    As a humble EA, I won't attempt to offer advice beyond what has been said, perhaps there is a lack of education on what the Craft stands for that you can rectify.

    I would like to ask about the Tuesday meeting of your church. Having been raised among Methodists and baptists (and with Catholic and Mormon friends) this is the first I've heard of a church meeting on Tuesdays (Wednesdays being the most common other than Sundays). What denomination is this, if you don't mind my asking (pure curiosity).
     
  5. MarkR

    MarkR Premium Member

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  6. coachn

    coachn Coach John S. Nagy Premium Member

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    Re: Wife having a problem with Freemasonry, she wa

    I'd accept that it is her problem and let her know that you do accept that it is her problem. I would not try to rescue her from her problem in any way. I'd also insist that she not make her problem my problem and encourage her to find viable solutions that won't interfere with the relationship that she has with me.

    You might want to investigate "The Drama Triangle". She is making effort to pull you in. The only way out is to accept that she won't agree with your FM involvement and be okay with this. Until you establish and maintain a firm boundary with her problem, you shall have if interfere with your relationship with her.

    Yes, this is a control issue and if you do not put it to rest soon, it shall become one of many, if not already so.
     
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  7. BryanMaloney

    BryanMaloney Premium Member

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    Re: Wife having a problem with Freemasonry, she wa

    It sounds like a "conservative" church (that prides itself on rejecting "tradition", if Tuesday is a special night instead of Wednesday, the traditional Christian mid-week day of observation, if any is done). Generally, such groups like to pretend to espouse a "traditional" authority structure in marriage. Thus, the husband would have "headship". She knew you were a Mason when you married. If she married you to "fix" or "improve" you, you are neither a man nor a husband in her eyes. You would merely be a "project". State the issue plainly: You are the husband and the man. You will continue to do as you have done. She, according to Scripture, is to obey. If she tries to pull out "unevenly yoked" to throw at you, brook no argument. She knew about Masonry and you when she married you. If she married you with a mind to "change that later", then she married you under fraudulent pretense. I had a "wife" who considered me something to "improve". The more I conceded, the worse she got.
     
  8. JamesMichael

    JamesMichael Premium Member

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    Re: Wife having a problem with Freemasonry, she wa

    I will be married 20 Years to same woman, my best friend this year. If she personally has issue I believe that you ought to be open to her concerns and express to her your understanding. Ask her to withhold judgment until after you and her both have been able to clearly communicate your position and questions and fears. She likely has some of all. Then agree to pray together about this asking God to confirm your steps as a husband and wife unit. You and she may really be surprised how He will confirm for you both. Agree to decide together as a couple, not on a pastor's, parents or any other persons opinion. It's your marriage. Make it work. Love wins.

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  9. Brother_Steve

    Brother_Steve Premium Member

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    Re: Wife having a problem with Freemasonry, she wa

    I would speak to her and let her read: http://www.masonic-lodge-of-education.com/masonic-wife.html

    and if possible get the book for her to read.

    Lastly, the lodge members have wives she can speak to as well.

    She should be willing to sacrifice just as much as she expects you to sacrifice. She needs to understand that you have just as much right to argue your point. You will be better armed and educated if you bring (I hate this cliche`) the right tools for the task ahead.

    Edited: I'm not affiliated with the website nor do I endorse the book in any way. Not sure if I had to clarify that.
     
    Last edited: Jan 23, 2014
  10. BroBook

    BroBook Premium Member

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    Re: Wife having a problem with Freemasonry, she wa

    I would suggest talk to the pastor and Make him put his Bible were his mouth is,Tuesday ?


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  11. Browncoat

    Browncoat Registered User

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    Re: Wife having a problem with Freemasonry, she wa

    100% agreed.

    Obviously none of us here are qualified to offer advice to one man's marriage or the relationship he has with his wife. We all have our quirks and shortcomings, and our better halves are no different.

    Sounds like wifey has some control issues with your "Guy Time".
     
  12. JohnnyFlotsam

    JohnnyFlotsam Premium Member

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    Re: Wife having a problem with Freemasonry, she wa

    coachn's analysis is spot-on, IMO, as is his advice. Still, among the practical solutions you (both you and your SO) might consider are finding a lodge that meets on a different night, or finding a church that has services on a different night. Both of these solutions assume that you've managed to overcome the much broader issue you face, that of your wife's and your church's objections to Freemasonry. The sad fact is that you are unlikely to change things in your church, and quite possibly your wife's view will be intractable as well.
    That said, a late PM who will always my deep respect once told me, "Family, work, Masonry, in that order." You must work this out somehow. That may involve tough choices all around, but sort it you must.

    I wish you the best of luck, Brother.
     
  13. dfreybur

    dfreybur Premium Member

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    Re: Wife having a problem with Freemasonry, she wa

    Masonry teaches that me must never come between family and church. We don't have any obvious lessons for what happens when family and church retroactively decide to come between us and Masonry.

    I'll agree with several other posters. To quote Bro Bryan "Masonry stiffens the back and softens the heart". Stiffen the back as in knowing that retroactive equals unacceptable. Soften the heart as in pitying the fact that the pastor has gone insane.

    God grant me the strength to change what I can change (switch to a different church),
    To accept the things that I can not change (addressed to a woman who knew you to be a brother),
    And the wisdom to tell the difference (whence my comments in parens)
     
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  14. JJones

    JJones Moderator Staff Member

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    Re: Wife having a problem with Freemasonry, she wa

    I agree with Coach on this. If she has issues with your being a mason, it's her issue, don't let it become an issue for you as well. Many wives have men that they cant even account for several nights out of the week, at least she knows where you are and that you're staying out of trouble (hopefully!).
     
  15. Bro Darren

    Bro Darren Premium Member

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    Re: Wife having a problem with Freemasonry, she wa

    A pastors influence is very strong and its sad when these pastors focus on teaching the mythes and conspiracies of the fraternity. I encourage you brother not to let this weaken your resolve and force you lose your way. Stay strong, but with a compassionate heart to your wife and reassure her that Freemasonry is not about the evil that the misinformed preach but about brotherly love and compassion for the fellow man and the community.

    As mentioned by others I would offer her some educational books and ask that she give you the time and courtesy to take in what Freemasonry is rather than what it is not!
     
  16. nixxon2000

    nixxon2000 Premium Member

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    Re: Wife having a problem with Freemasonry, she wa

    I agree with the general consensus. She knew who you were before you got married and she was able to accept that then. If her feelings have changed that is something you both need to discuss and pray on.

    My advise were I in the same situation would be to find a new more tolerant church. If she were willing to do that. However from my experience with women like that once they start to try and change you things get worse.

    They either learn that they can control you and push more or learn you won't change and make life more difficult.

    My wife and I make a great team because we work together and communicate.


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  17. K3vin

    K3vin Registered User

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    Re: Wife having a problem with Freemasonry, she wa

    I don't believe that this is a control issue. I believe it is based in fear. She has a honest fear for his spiritual life based on incorrect information. Natural human response to the unknown is fear. The tool to eliminate ignorance is education. As a couple they need to work together to defeat her fear.


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  18. fasttito

    fasttito Registered User

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    Re: Wife having a problem with Freemasonry, she wa

    Pentacostal Church in Orlando Fl


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    /G\You Are Never Alone/G\
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  19. KSigMason

    KSigMason Traveling Templar Site Benefactor

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  20. Companion Joe

    Companion Joe Premium Member

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    Re: Wife having a problem with Freemasonry, she wa

    I would never presume to tell someone how to handle their household affairs, but ... let's take Masonry out of the picture and insert playing softball, fishing/hunting, racing, any particular vocation or avocation, etc. ... if she knew this going in and now has a problem with it, there is a deeper rooted problem than you going to a lodge meeting.

    As for your church, I'll put two and two together and go ahead and say ... that in my neck of the woods .. any church that holds services on Tuesday night is likely to have the kind of preacher who would denounce Freemasonry. Sorry to hear it.
     

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