VLinvictus
Registered User
Hi, Brothers,
I've got a bit of a problem and, for a variety of reasons, it's difficult for me to talk about it with other members of my lodge. I hope some of you may have some insight.
I was raised earlier this year together with someone I've known casually for several years. For convenience, I'm just going to call him X. In general I've gotten along well with him, but I wouldn't call us close friends. While he is smart and often funny, he also has an abrasive and off-personality and is constantly bragging about how much money he has, the expensive restaurants he eats at, the fancy custom clothes he buys, and his luxurious international vacations.
We were both sponsored by a mutual friend. I had approached our friend out of sincere interest in the Craft. X expressed that his interest was largely for the "coolness" factor and networking. Another thing that bothered me is that he in the past had proudly told anyone who would listen that he's an atheist, and yet now all of a sudden he professes to believe in a Supreme Being in order to qualify for membership. It's possible he has had a sudden spiritual revelation, but I sincerely doubt it. I see no evidence that he sincerely believes in any of the moral or philosophical principles of Masonry - he certainly doesn't demonstrate them in his personal life - but he flaunts Masonic jargon and trivia at every opportunity to show off how knowledgeable he is from all his online research. Now that we are both Master Masons, he is boasting about his plans to progress through the chairs and jokes about how he wants to be Grand Master of our state - solely for the titles and status and perceived perks. He's much more of a "people person" than I am, much better at networking and making social connections and so he will probably get his way. He's already being groomed for Junior Deacon. Not only has he made more friends faster in the lodge, but he also is more advanced than me in learning ritual. The feeling of inferiority is surely part of my problem.
I have shared my concerns with our mutual friend, and his response has been to focus on my own path and let X focus on his with the hope he will improve himself through Masonry. I just don't have that confidence. If I had been a MM at the time of his balloting, I would not have been able to vote for him in good conscience.
I realize that my anger and resentment are all my own issues and have more to do with me than X. The trouble is that I don't have any relief from his company. Our social circles overlap so tightly that I can't go to any event, Masonic or not, without him being there.
I know I need to let go of this and get over it. It seems clear to me that my resentment of X is one of my rough edges to break off. His sincerity or lack thereof is none of my business and my primary concern should be improving myself. I just don't know how to do it.
Thank you for reading this. Any advice is deeply and gratefully appreciated.
I've got a bit of a problem and, for a variety of reasons, it's difficult for me to talk about it with other members of my lodge. I hope some of you may have some insight.
I was raised earlier this year together with someone I've known casually for several years. For convenience, I'm just going to call him X. In general I've gotten along well with him, but I wouldn't call us close friends. While he is smart and often funny, he also has an abrasive and off-personality and is constantly bragging about how much money he has, the expensive restaurants he eats at, the fancy custom clothes he buys, and his luxurious international vacations.
We were both sponsored by a mutual friend. I had approached our friend out of sincere interest in the Craft. X expressed that his interest was largely for the "coolness" factor and networking. Another thing that bothered me is that he in the past had proudly told anyone who would listen that he's an atheist, and yet now all of a sudden he professes to believe in a Supreme Being in order to qualify for membership. It's possible he has had a sudden spiritual revelation, but I sincerely doubt it. I see no evidence that he sincerely believes in any of the moral or philosophical principles of Masonry - he certainly doesn't demonstrate them in his personal life - but he flaunts Masonic jargon and trivia at every opportunity to show off how knowledgeable he is from all his online research. Now that we are both Master Masons, he is boasting about his plans to progress through the chairs and jokes about how he wants to be Grand Master of our state - solely for the titles and status and perceived perks. He's much more of a "people person" than I am, much better at networking and making social connections and so he will probably get his way. He's already being groomed for Junior Deacon. Not only has he made more friends faster in the lodge, but he also is more advanced than me in learning ritual. The feeling of inferiority is surely part of my problem.
I have shared my concerns with our mutual friend, and his response has been to focus on my own path and let X focus on his with the hope he will improve himself through Masonry. I just don't have that confidence. If I had been a MM at the time of his balloting, I would not have been able to vote for him in good conscience.
I realize that my anger and resentment are all my own issues and have more to do with me than X. The trouble is that I don't have any relief from his company. Our social circles overlap so tightly that I can't go to any event, Masonic or not, without him being there.
I know I need to let go of this and get over it. It seems clear to me that my resentment of X is one of my rough edges to break off. His sincerity or lack thereof is none of my business and my primary concern should be improving myself. I just don't know how to do it.
Thank you for reading this. Any advice is deeply and gratefully appreciated.