DeMolay Advisor Issues: Opinions appreciated

Discussion in 'DeMolay' started by Kenneth NC Mason, Dec 11, 2016.

  1. Kenneth NC Mason

    Kenneth NC Mason Registered User

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    Hello ,

    I'm a 20 year old Master Mason in North Carolina. I had petitioned DeMolay when I was 12 in Norfolk VA , and was elected. I was never brought through the degrees, due to a supposed miscommunication about my date for the degrees.

    Fast forward to now , and I'm in college near Raleigh. I was told two years ago at Grand Lodge by the then current Executive Officer that when I was in college , as long as I was close to one ( Raleigh is a 40 miles from my campus ) that I could join. He was aware of the situation that occurred when I was younger... now the plot got thicker

    Based on what I was told two years ago I figured I'd give it a shot. I had to end up repaying the fee along with completing a new application because my records supposedly couldn't transfer from one jurisdiction to another . I've been corresponding with the chapter in Raleigh literally the WHOLE semester. Why? Because it's literally taken a whole semester to get a reply.

    Back in June, I called their ( over the summer months) chapter dad . When I said I was already a Mason but wanted to go through something I missed as a kid his response was " Even though you've already been raised we'd love to have you a part of the chapter ". He was a very nice guy, and still is in my opinion.

    I went to their installation in September , and they seemed nice ... and said they wanted me to join their group.

    I then met the SMC ( and at that time the MC for Raleigh chapter ) at Grand Lodge and he said they had to do an investigation committee meeting . They had changed hands and had a new chapter dad.

    Since I'm visually impaired and can't drive the only time I'm really in Raleigh is first Friday's for York Rite. I asked the chapter dad ( once again, a new one ) in October whether that would work, and he said " sure ".

    I found out recently that they've since changed hands again and their current chapter dad is a Past EO. He's the guy I spoke with at grand lodge two years ago. When I called him last month to find out why I haven't heard anything he refused to comment. I asked him what days would work for them to do a meeting with me, he simply said " Uh, I don't know , but, uhm, hey, look I'll talk to you later ? Ok ? Bye bye " click.....

    Not exactly a brotherly way to respond IMHO..



    After a break, I thought they'd resolve issues in a month or so. I called him Friday and he said, " I don't know, but stop calling, you're getting on my nerves".This is the SECOND time I've spoke with him. It's not like I've been blowing up his phone or anything.


    I feel rather slighted by what's been going on and am not sure how to respond to it or what to do. Is this how DeMolay chapter dads are supposed to act ? Is this how they are supposed to treat candidates ? Especially since these advisors are my brother masons, I feel like they're being dishonest with me. I made it clear to them from the get go if they didn't want me to join they could tell me upfront and I'd move on. They said in the beginning they didn't have a problem, now it seems they DO have a problem. I'm not a mind reader , and I have no time for drama, so I'm tempted to just say ( pardon my French) " Screw It". I've talked to some friends of mine that live out of state about what's going on and they think I should bring this up to the EO. But then again, their chapter dad was the EO before the current one AKA they know each other ..

    The North Carolina DeMolay Association is supposedly doing a honorary DeMolay class for master masons next year so I may just do that , but I still want opinions as to what you guys might think might be going with the people in the chapter. Even though I've only been in the craft for two years, I've NEVER seen any blue lodge, York Rite body , or Eastern Star Chapter treat a candidate like this . I'm confused and conflicted..

    Sorry for the long story but I figured I'd give some context so my situation hopefully makes sense.

    Please feel free to PM me or reply to my thread with thoughts and suggestions ..especially if any of you are Chapter Dads or Senior DeMolay's

    Fraternally

    Seth Gray

    Junior Deacon & Certified Lecturer- Cape Hatteras Lodge #698 Buxton, NC

    Greensboro York Rite Bodies




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    Last edited: Dec 11, 2016
  2. Bill Lins

    Bill Lins Moderating Staff Staff Member

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    Dunno about you, but there's no way I'd want to have anything to do with "brethren" like them. Uncapitalized "brethren" intentional.
     
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  3. Kenneth NC Mason

    Kenneth NC Mason Registered User

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    Glad you think so. It makes me think the problem isn't me but them. :)


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  4. Bloke

    Bloke Premium Member

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    "Screw it" sounds like a good approach with a one day class in your future...
     
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  5. Ripcord22A

    Ripcord22A Site Benefactor

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    I didnt known that MM could "join" Demolay. I thought we could only be in advisory roles

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  6. Kenneth NC Mason

    Kenneth NC Mason Registered User

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    If you're under 21 yes you can because at least in NC you can't even be an advisor until your 21 and over





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  7. Ripcord22A

    Ripcord22A Site Benefactor

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  8. Kenneth NC Mason

    Kenneth NC Mason Registered User

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    Even though you're not familiar with DeMolay I do know you know a lot about the craft :)

    Would you recommend I try to get something done via the Executive Officer ( the head advisor , who's a Mason , over all chapters and DeMolay's in NC) or just let it subside ?

    I don't want to cause tension, but I know if this happened in a blue lodge or York Rite as far as a candidate , the higher ups would not even remotely be happy ...


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  9. Ripcord22A

    Ripcord22A Site Benefactor

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    Let me ask u this?.....would you want to be a member of a chapter you had to force ur way into? I woukd wait and take that MM Demolay class u mentioned. Then once ur a member handle this fiasco

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  10. Kenneth NC Mason

    Kenneth NC Mason Registered User

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    I agree , I'm still tempted to press the issue but I don't think that'll do much good ..


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  11. Warrior1256

    Warrior1256 Site Benefactor

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    Please keep us updated.
     
  12. Kenneth NC Mason

    Kenneth NC Mason Registered User

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    I will be going through the degrees in Greensboro during a Honorary DeMolay Class for Master Masons next Saturday afternoon. It's called a grand masters class . That morning I have to be #1 Ruffian and do the lecture and charge for a double third degree at the lodge that's near my campus . Should be a LONG day


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  13. Warrior1256

    Warrior1256 Site Benefactor

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    Great!
     

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