Etiquette for a non-member

Discussion in 'Frequently Asked Questions' started by Mark Petro, Apr 16, 2018.

  1. hfmm97

    hfmm97 Premium Member

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    Mark see the private message that I sent you...just a spirited debate among brothers...you’re OK.

    Brethren, can we discuss these dress code issues in a new thread or via PMs?


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  2. CLewey44

    CLewey44 Registered User

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    Oh not at all my friend. No arguing. I wanted to clarify what was meant earlier in this thread is all. No worries.
     
  3. Bloke

    Bloke Premium Member

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    LOL.. no - its a Brother thing :)

    And the great debate of cloths continues :)

    And I still think Warrior's comment was the best :)
     
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  4. Keith C

    Keith C Registered User

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    I don't see an argument at all.

    One thing to know is that every jurisdiction is different, in how they dress, what officers the Lodge has, how they perform ritual, if they meet during July & August or not.

    Some Grand Lodges let each lodge decide for themselves the appropriate dress code for lodge. Here in PA it is dictated by the Grand Lodge. Members and Visitors - suit & tie, Officers, Tails with a black vest and black tie (standard sartorial practice says this is no way to dress! lol). Elected Officers are a "Must" for this dress code, Appointed officers a "should" and can get by with a dark suit.

    When we communicate with someone who shows an interest we invite them to dinner before a stated meeting, much like you were so invited. Whoever is in contact with them tells them when to show up and what to wear, and confirms they understand. The invitation is also communicated to our Secretary, who sends a letter with the same information. Recently we had someone inquire into membership via the Grand Lodge website system. He was invited via letter from the Secretary, clearly stating "dress is suit and tie." Our WM also contacted him by phone prior to the meeting and informed him "Dress is suit and tie." and also asked if he understood and if that was a hardship, to which he replied "No that is fine." He showed up wearing jeans, sneakers and a polo shirt. To us this showed lack of attention to detail, lack of respect for the requirements and / or an inability to follow instructions / guidelines. He did not make a favorable impression on the bretheren who met him at dinner.

    So, the lodge should have let you know how to dress when they issued the invitation, you shouldn't have to ask, much less have to ask on an internet forum. In my opinion they are lax in their communication. I would ask someone you know in the lodge, or failing that one of the officers what appropriate dress is for their dinners.
     
  5. Warrior1256

    Warrior1256 Site Benefactor

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    Either doesn't understand or simply doesn't care. A poor first impression can not be undone.
     
  6. Breakingstereotypes

    Breakingstereotypes Registered User

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    If this is your first time visiting a lodge, dress your best, use manners but save "brother" until after you are initiated (if you are going to petition and if you are accepted). Most importantly, relax. Don't be so tense that you have a full mask on. The men you meet were once in your position. Be yourself and enjoy the experience. Best of luck sir.
     
  7. CLewey44

    CLewey44 Registered User

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    Well put, brother.
     
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  8. Mark Petro

    Mark Petro Registered User

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    Thank you everyone, for your sound advice and guidance. It makes me aware of the truly wonderful Brotherhood that you have.

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  9. Rifleman1776

    Rifleman1776 Registered User

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    Whew....! That's a relief. Going for fellowship dinner before meeting is just fine. Be relaxed and enjoy.
     
  10. Rifleman1776

    Rifleman1776 Registered User

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    As for the suit and tie matter. I live, and my lodge is in the Arkansas/Missouri Ozarks. Life is laid back, old country and (mostly) without pretense. We believe the internal qualities of man are what are important and the external is unimportant. As a matter of practicality, some simply would not have time to clean up and change clothes between their farm chores and getting to lodge. Jeans and overalls are always present. So are smiles and handshakes.
     
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  11. Tpower31

    Tpower31 Premium Member

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    In our lodge it is required that a dark suit and tie be worn and officers wear a tuxedo. This is our grand lodge rules for every lodge under the Grand Lodge of Newfoundland and Labrador. You will never see a brother enter our lodge in anything less
    Than a dark suit during meetings


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  12. Mark Petro

    Mark Petro Registered User

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    Just as an update, I attended the open house at our Masonic Lodge, I met the WM and my wife and I got a tour of the lodge. I met several of the members and introduced myself. My charming and gracious wife got all of the attention though.

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  13. Warrior1256

    Warrior1256 Site Benefactor

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    Great! Your journey has begun.
     
  14. Mark Petro

    Mark Petro Registered User

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    Just as a quick update, I went to El Paso #130, and had my first dinner with the members. I met a lot of fantastic people, But I'm worried about my home visit with the investigators. After watching them at dinner, they will come over and eat me out of house and home!
     
  15. Keith C

    Keith C Registered User

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    You have to be careful! I suggest make a pitcher of iced tea and a small plate of cookies. Whatever you do, don't let them near your kitchen!
     
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  16. Warrior1256

    Warrior1256 Site Benefactor

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    Lol!!!!
     
  17. Matt L

    Matt L Site Benefactor

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    Mark, you've already experienced the fellowship at dinner. I'm glad it was an open house and your wife attended. The home visit will go just as well, as others have said "don't let them near your kitchen".
    I love doing home visits, seeing the new prospect excited and full of wonder. Your journey is just beginning, please keep us posted on your progress. There are many here on this forum that are Texas Masons if you need a hand. Good luck.
     
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  18. Warrior1256

    Warrior1256 Site Benefactor

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    Looking forward to my first one.
     
  19. Mark Petro

    Mark Petro Registered User

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    That's what I love about your Brotherhood and this journey. Once I begin, I know I will never be alone.
     
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  20. Warrior1256

    Warrior1256 Site Benefactor

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    I could live with this! Would certainly make a good impression on the public at large.
     

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