When counseled by an older member or a authoritative body to do or not do something, and the answer isn't the one you seek, saying, "do it anyway" is a problem with today's younger people. Take Freemasonry out of the equation and insert society in general, and that attitude has gotten us to where we are today.
I understand where you are coming from and both agree and disagree at the same time.
A great test is will the change really matter in 1,2,5,20 or 50 years time. For me, this apron issue was about pride. And coming from a MM, I always listen to things like that, especially when it is a minor change which could make a big difference.. Sure, pride is one of the seven deadly sins, but loosing members and not harnessing new brothers enthusiasm will surely hurt the craft. It's why we had an clever EA at a strategic planning meeting last night. Engaging, encouraging, eductatiing and instilling pride and seems like some of the imporant tasks for a PM. And yes, providing an example and rampaging in a destructive way or different direction can be destructive. A good question is will this action or decision harm or help the lodge, today and into the future...
Some of the things our GL does are just plain dumb. I've swam against the tide, and seen the direction move in the same direction I went because it made sense and made for better outcomes. It I'd not had that "do it anyway" attitude, we would no longer have a building to meet in. We might well no longer have a warrant, but I try to apply wisdom and effect positive change, sometimes that means being the first to do something. That's the start of leadership, but true leadership is motivating others to also change for the better. Beyond this common sense approach, the other thing I check is the Constitution, it a change is not prohibited there or in the ritual, then it's on the table to be considered. If it is against the Const, then fortunately I am in a position to move a motion at our Grand Lodge.
I guess one of the tests I use is will this position us for future success without changing a landmark. Buying (or not buying) your own apron seems like minor thing...
Thanks for your response brother - I love the way a small idea like buying your own apron can lead to interesting and wider discussion. That's the key, discussion these things and reflecting on the responses to find ways to support individuals and also strengthen the craft.