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Thinking I picked the WRONG Lodge!? :(

Radical540

Registered User
Greetings All! I'm going to try and make this as to the point as I can.
My interest in Freemasonry started in the Summer of 2013. I began doing some research & reading, and developed a small library of enlightening books by guys like S. Brent Morris, Christopher Knight, & Christopher Hodapp and a few others. All respected Masons indeed; and I learned a TON!!
Toward the end of last summer I petitioned the local lodge of my city. I was told it was a lodge of about 30 members, thought I've only ever met about a dozen, and of that dozen only about 6-8 show up to communication meetings on a regular basis. (Concern #1). Prior to be voted and accepted, I met a few of the brothers at the lodge for the "after meeting" snack, and one time at the prior WM's home. Nothing special and rather uneventful.
Much of the reading I've done prior to petitioning had portrayed the Craft as one of brotherly love and ambivalence, so I've taken that to heart.
In December I had my Entered Apprentice Degree. The bare minimum members showed up to even open lodge, but the ceremony took place and I went through it. Having experience this "lodge" for several months now, even though I'm only an EA I'm starting to question whether I chose the right lodge. Having taken the EA oath, and taking it literally means a certain allegiance to the lodge and it's brothers..but I've yet to feel this lodge values it's brothers or what lodge stands for beyond just a bunch of guys that might be on the same bowling team. I know I'm the "new brother" but based on how the other brothers react to each other, I'm not seeing the "brotherly love" that Freemasonry is supposed to be all about. One thing that shocked me was the WM saying this around the holidays "...we won't be having lodge on XMas day, because I sure don't wanna see your mugs (faces) on the holiday...I'll be with my family!" REALLY? Is that brotherly love? Also, I recently had a birthday. ALL my non-mason friends wished me birthday greetings; but my Mason "brothers"-- the ones in which I took an oath to support, and show brotherly love to.....NOTHING AT ALL!
Many times, it's like pulling teeth just to get brothers to show up, and when they do their late, and sometimes not even dressed properly. (in my most recent lodge communication meeting, the JD was wearing jeans, sneakers, and simply a polo shirt with a Square & Compass embroidered on it. Very unmasonic & unprofessional in my opinion). I'm not sure if most Lodges have this hard to a time to actually get members to a meeting, but it seems as though the members of my lodge put just about EVERYTHING in life before lodge, and the excuses simply seem rampant.
Mainly what I'm getting at is that this Lodge doesn't seem very committed to taking to the Craft very seriously, and when they do even show up, I just don't see the cameraderie or brotherly love that Freemasonry allegedly purports!
Just seems like a bunch (maybe) of co-workers hanging out for an hour or 2 usually just once a month- if that.
Help! Did I pick the wrong lodge?
Thanks everyone!
 

Lowcarbjc

Registered User
Great post. Interested in the replies, Trust me you are not the first person experiencing this.


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Radical540

Registered User
Are my concerns something I should share with the current WM? Or would stepping up and saying something be considered offensive and unappreciative?
 

brother blaine

Registered User
Best thing I can say brother is you have to pick a lodge where you feel comfortable and "fit in"


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Benjamin Baxter

Moderator
Premium Member
The best thing to do is to get through your degrees and transfer to another lodge that fits. After you get through travel to all surrounding lodges within 20+ miles. Visit each one 2 or 3 times, you should know which one feels good by then. I drive 20 miles to my home lodge, even though I am a member at a closer lodge. Lodge is a family too, sometimes they need motivation of young blood. Motivation can be contagious. Maybe you went to this lodge for a reason, and maybe they need you more than you need them. I notice a lack of motivation at my lodge then we got a few new guys and wow we meet almost every week now.
 
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Brother_Steve

Premium Member
Not to come off the wrong way but what lodge are you a part of? Is it a regular lodge under the official GL of your state recognized by the UGLE?
 

Radical540

Registered User
The best thing to do is to get through your degrees and transfer to another lodge that fits. After you get through travel to all surrounding lodges within 20+ miles. Visit each one 2 or 3 times, you should know which one feels good by then. I drive 20 miles to my home lodge, even though I am a member at a closer lodge. Lodge is a family too, sometimes they need motivation of young blood. Motivation can be contagious. Maybe you went to this lodge for a reason, and maybe they need you more than you need them. I notice a lack of motivation at my lodge then we got a few new guys and wow we meet almost every week now.
Very good point-- I suppose I never thought about it that way.
Before petitioning, I read, and read, and read and read some more. Not to sound conceited, but I feel like I probably do know more about freemasonry (historically) then some of the less senior members. I'm constantly researching, and eMailing off great tid-bits of information, facts, trivia and history. I've even stumped the WM with some information I found while researching the "hand-in-the-coat" photograph pose that is often shown in historical photos. (Research revealed it is a part of an upper Scottish Rite degree ritual) Some members are receptive, others seem they could care less. Nevertheless, I suppose I just had a different expectation, that what my reality has been.......at least, so far.
As many of you mentioned, I will likely make it through my degrees at my current lodge, and will probably look to branch off to an appendant body such as Scottish Rite once I become a Master Mason.
 

tldubb

Premium Member
Well I would say stick in there...because it only takes one good Bro. to turn things around...but at least try once your raised. GB!

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dfreybur

Premium Member
My interest in Freemasonry started in the Summer of 2013. I began doing some research & reading, and developed a small library of enlightening books by guys like S. Brent Morris, Christopher Knight, & Christopher Hodapp and a few others. All respected Masons indeed; and I learned a TON!!

Being new you haven't had time to learn internal history going back decades or centuries. As such some of this is perspective some of it is compatibility.

Toward the end of last summer I petitioned the local lodge of my city. I was told it was a lodge of about 30 members, thought I've only ever met about a dozen, and of that dozen only about 6-8 show up to communication meetings on a regular basis. (Concern #1). Prior to be voted and accepted, I met a few of the brothers at the lodge for the "after meeting" snack, and one time at the prior WM's home. Nothing special and rather uneventful.

You joined a small lodge. Almost every lodge across every century you care to read about has complained about attendance. The numbers you quote tell me your lodge has better attendance for its size than is typical among all lodges. That's a perspective issue.

Much of the reading I've done prior to petitioning had portrayed the Craft as one of brotherly love and ambivalence, so I've taken that to heart.
In December I had my Entered Apprentice Degree. The bare minimum members showed up to even open lodge, but the ceremony took place and I went through it. Having experience this "lodge" for several months now, even though I'm only an EA I'm starting to question whether I chose the right lodge. Having taken the EA oath, and taking it literally means a certain allegiance to the lodge and it's brothers..but I've yet to feel this lodge values it's brothers or what lodge stands for beyond just a bunch of guys that might be on the same bowling team. I know I'm the "new brother" but based on how the other brothers react to each other, I'm not seeing the "brotherly love" that Freemasonry is supposed to be all about.

Timing is definitely another perspective issue. On the one hand we encounter brothers out in the wild and outsiders who see our reaction to each other say we act like old friends. On the other hand inside our own lodge we all know we're here for life and there's no hurry. You haven't yet been through the line with a corps of officers to build camaraderie but you already expect to have it not yet having worked for it or allowed it to happen on a sensible time scale.

One thing that shocked me was the WM saying this around the holidays "...we won't be having lodge on XMas day, because I sure don't wanna see your mugs (faces) on the holiday...I'll be with my family!" REALLY? Is that brotherly love?

Remember the lesson of what order your priorities are. God, country, family, neighbor, lodge. I don't get why this event seems problematic to you. It's Masonry displaying our priorities as we teach.

Also, I recently had a birthday. ALL my non-mason friends wished me birthday greetings; but my Mason "brothers"-- the ones in which I took an oath to support, and show brotherly love to.....NOTHING AT ALL!

Please go through the line and try to keep track of every brother's birthday then get back to me on this. I tried it and couldn't pull it off the first and second time I was in the east. If a lodge has a tradition of sending birthday cards and a system in place maintaining that system is work but not a lot. If a lodge does not have such a tradition building it from the records was a task beyond the time I had to spend on it in my years in the east. Perspective.

and sometimes not even dressed properly. (in my most recent lodge communication meeting, the JD was wearing jeans, sneakers, and simply a polo shirt with a Square & Compass embroidered on it. Very unmasonic & unprofessional in my opinion).

That one I'm not going to pull the perspective card on you. I've seen lodges that meet in coveralls where this would be expected. I've seen lodges that meet in business casual where jeans are problematic. On the one hand attending is more important than not and forever most brothers never attend so seeing the occasional brother come straight from work is no big deal. On the other hand attitude matters and a brother straight from a welding job can still change shirts and pants to be clean and comport himself with dignity.

Mainly what I'm getting at is that this Lodge doesn't seem very committed to taking to the Craft very seriously ... Help! Did I pick the wrong lodge?

Might be why they are a small lodge. Might also be exactly the lodge you need. Take a step back and think about that. Are you a leader or a follower? (Hint, it's not one or the other it's best to be plenty of both).

Followers will want to find the nearest highly active lodge and join the crowd. Affiliate and start volunteering. Ride the existing wave of activity.

Leaders will take the small lodge as a chance to make a difference in the long run. Join the line and build the camaraderie. Take on one annual event that's yours. Accept help but run that event forever. As young brothers come in have them pick a month with no event and brainstorm what event should happen that month. Have them take on that as their annual event that's theirs. Do pay attention to elder members if they say "We tried that once. Here's why it failed. Maybe if this changes it would work." Do ignore elder members if they say "That's not how we did it in my year." These events are throwing spaghetti at the wall to see what sticks but by paying attention to what works and what fails and why in a couple of decades you'll build up some repeating event that works every month. And then you'll have an active lodge. Those years will happen whether you improve your own lodge this way or you sit around complaining about it. Time, patience and perseverance will accomplish all things - Understand that it takes all three. Be the change, the patience and the work. If there's no big active lodge around to ride the wave, spend the time to build one.
 

Brother JC

Moderating Staff
Staff Member
Every lodge is different. My personal take is that you should wait to pass judgement until you've had time to get to know the lodge and the Brethren more, and experience more than one or two meetings.

"Climate is what you expect, weather is what you get."
 

CuAllaidh

Registered User
I second the notion of waiting and seeing. My initiation I felt out of sorts, welcomed but almost superficially, the next meeting was much the same, it wasn't until my third meeting that I felt like I was a brother to my lodge members. In hindsight the problem in not feeling I was fitting it had more to do with my own nervousness at joining a new group and not knowing many people then with the brothers being unwelcoming. I am not saying the problem is yours and not theirs, but give them a chance to demonstrate brotherly love in their way, perhaps it isn't what you expect, but it might be more than you are giving them credit for.

Travel when you can check out other loges, but don't write off your current lodge right off the bat.
 

Radical540

Registered User
This is all GREAT insights coming in, and MUCH appreciated.
Here is another question: Should I bring up my concerns to the WM?
 

Browncoat

Registered User
I agree about perspective.

I'm also the new guy @ my (small) Lodge and it can be very easy to be disappointed. We read about how grand Freemasonry is and see awesome photos of beautiful Lodge rooms...it can be kind of a let down when expectations aren't met.

This may not be the Lodge for you, but at least give it a chance. Those guys may be giving it their all just to try to keep a failing Lodge afloat. Maybe they're just burned out and someone new and active could be the spark they need. If if turns out that the Lodge really is a dud, then you can travel as the others have said.
 

MarkR

Premium Member
As far as not conducting a communication on Christmas Day, I'd be shocked if they did, and I doubt that very many brothers would show up. My lodge meets twice a month from September through June, with the exception of December, when we only meet once for that very reason. The WM was trying to be funny, but yes, family on Christmas comes before Masonic Lodge.

My lodge is also one that has a tradition of casual dress. Jeans and a polo shirt is pretty common. I know there are Masonic authors who are of the opinion that "real" Masonic work cannot be done in casual clothes. I disagree, but if you feel strongly about that, then perhaps you should look for another lodge that better fits your expectations AFTER you complete your degrees. As far as bringing your concerns to the Worshipful Master as a new Entered Apprentice, I don't think that would be well received.

Give this lodge some time, including after you complete your degrees, to get to know them. Get involved. You may be surprised to find out that they are very welcoming of new, young brothers who want to explore the deeper aspects of the craft.
 

rpbrown

Premium Member
Just my .02 here but, as far as the amount of brothers in attendance, this is better than most considering the size of your lodge. We have about 140 members and only around 20 show up for stated meetings.
As for the attire, the only time our lodge is in business casual is at officer installation. Most of us come to lodge straight from work. Now some work in an office and business casual is what they wear to work but most of us are blue collar workers and jeans and a polo or even tee shirt is our dress.
Only you can answer whether you have chosen the wrong lodge. Perhaps you will see things differently by the time you go through the degrees. Maybe you were meant to be there to help build the membership or to help out with attendance.
As for the birthday, I have a hard enough time remembering my wife's and dont remember my 5 kids birthdays, try to remember 30+ men on theirs.
I would also give it some time to get accustomed to the brothers and let them get accustomed to you.
 
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