My Freemasonry | Freemason Information and Discussion Forum
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So, no matter what you "choose" to do tomorrow morning, it was "fated" to happen? If you go to work, if you don't go to work? It was never your choice? I can't live that way.
I can choose to follow my obligations, and obey the laws of my town/state/country, and believe it's the best choice, or I...
In my NM lodges, dinner is always open to family and guests. After dinner, the Brethren go open lodge and the families go home, or some of the spouses go out together. My CA lodge does it differently, but the others in the area seem to follow that form, as well.
Most of the "crushing weight" you describe disappears when you turn off the TV. Sure, there are still people wanting you to choose their way, but you always have an option. There is no magical force stopping you from picking A over B.
Perhaps in your jurisdiction, but not in the majority if US. In both NM and CA (for example), members of the two Grand Lodges may intervisit. I have sat in lodge with the Grand Master of MWPHGLNM on several occasions. Neither of us considered the other to be clandestine.
The first step is to stop reading, you don't want to learn too much prior to joining. The next step, as others have said, is to visit a lodge, meet the Brethren, and petition.
In NM, towns are generally at least 60 miles apart... so are lodges. A traveling Grand Officer can expect to put tens of thousands of miles on his vehicle each year, just visiting lodges.
"Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world."