Upon googling the internet with clicks,
I found Masonic limericks were nix.
Why is that so?
I really don’t know;
So I wrote some myself - just for kicks.
There once was a Freemason called Mitchell
Who had trouble remembering his ritual.
The Master said, “Son,
The learning’s not done
Until it becomes habitual.â€
A visiting Brother from Texas
Stood To Order in Lodge right next to us.
He gave us a fright
As he stepped-off with his right;
He just happened to be ambidextrous.
There was a Freemason from Clydes
Who wore a newspaper apron. He confides,
The apron caught fire
And burned his entire
Front page, sports section and classifieds.
The Brethren from Lodge at The Grange,
A light bulb they had to exchange;
It no longer would glow,
But the Master said, “No,
In Freemasonry nothing can change.â€
A one-legged Mason from Myrtle
Once had a race with a turtle;
But the turtle won fair
Because the man on the square
Went round the fourth part of a circle.
There was a young Mason from York
Who felt like a bit of a dork,
In his black penguin suit
And white apron to boot,
‘Till he went to Grand Lodge for a gawk.
Three ruffians thought it was simple
To steal the builder’s secrets, until
He prevaricated - said “Nay,
I’ll not betray.â€
So they served Hiram Abiff in the temple.
There was a Lodge Chaplain named Bell,
Who read words from the VSL.
Sometimes he’d mutter,
Sometimes he’d stutter,
And sometimes he’d even yell.
Two came for the first Tracing Board,
One by free will and accord;
But the other old bloke,
This is no joke,
Came by Model T Ford.
There was a young man named Jason
Who wanted to become a Freemason;
But when a Brother of note
Said, “You’ll ride the goatâ€,
Jason from the Mason did hasten.
The Master asked the Candidate from Fyfe,
“In times of difficulty and strife,
Tell us, you must,
In whom do you trust?â€
The Candidate replied, “In the wife.â€
There once was a PM from Mayne
Who did nothing in Lodge but complain.
That wasn’t the way
It was done in his day.
He really was a terrible pain.
Testing a Lodge visitor at Doncaster,
Once caused an embarassing disaster.
When asked for the Word
He said, “Don’t be absurd,
You should know that I’m the Grand Master!â€
The Stewards at a Lodge in Turin
Served the Festive Board, with a grin.
But the size of each plate
Wasso overweight,
The Junior Warden said, “Halve it, and begin.â€
I found Masonic limericks were nix.
Why is that so?
I really don’t know;
So I wrote some myself - just for kicks.
There once was a Freemason called Mitchell
Who had trouble remembering his ritual.
The Master said, “Son,
The learning’s not done
Until it becomes habitual.â€
A visiting Brother from Texas
Stood To Order in Lodge right next to us.
He gave us a fright
As he stepped-off with his right;
He just happened to be ambidextrous.
There was a Freemason from Clydes
Who wore a newspaper apron. He confides,
The apron caught fire
And burned his entire
Front page, sports section and classifieds.
The Brethren from Lodge at The Grange,
A light bulb they had to exchange;
It no longer would glow,
But the Master said, “No,
In Freemasonry nothing can change.â€
A one-legged Mason from Myrtle
Once had a race with a turtle;
But the turtle won fair
Because the man on the square
Went round the fourth part of a circle.
There was a young Mason from York
Who felt like a bit of a dork,
In his black penguin suit
And white apron to boot,
‘Till he went to Grand Lodge for a gawk.
Three ruffians thought it was simple
To steal the builder’s secrets, until
He prevaricated - said “Nay,
I’ll not betray.â€
So they served Hiram Abiff in the temple.
There was a Lodge Chaplain named Bell,
Who read words from the VSL.
Sometimes he’d mutter,
Sometimes he’d stutter,
And sometimes he’d even yell.
Two came for the first Tracing Board,
One by free will and accord;
But the other old bloke,
This is no joke,
Came by Model T Ford.
There was a young man named Jason
Who wanted to become a Freemason;
But when a Brother of note
Said, “You’ll ride the goatâ€,
Jason from the Mason did hasten.
The Master asked the Candidate from Fyfe,
“In times of difficulty and strife,
Tell us, you must,
In whom do you trust?â€
The Candidate replied, “In the wife.â€
There once was a PM from Mayne
Who did nothing in Lodge but complain.
That wasn’t the way
It was done in his day.
He really was a terrible pain.
Testing a Lodge visitor at Doncaster,
Once caused an embarassing disaster.
When asked for the Word
He said, “Don’t be absurd,
You should know that I’m the Grand Master!â€
The Stewards at a Lodge in Turin
Served the Festive Board, with a grin.
But the size of each plate
Wasso overweight,
The Junior Warden said, “Halve it, and begin.â€
