Asking people to join

Discussion in 'Frequently Asked Questions' started by hwood, Sep 9, 2017.

  1. Glen Cook

    Glen Cook G A Cook Site Benefactor

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    Where do you find this tradition set out?
     
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  2. Bloke

    Bloke Premium Member

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    Thanks Goodness for your Wife !
     
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  3. MarkR

    MarkR Premium Member

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    Even if you're opposed to asking someone to join, if someone is asking you question after question, and seem genuinely interested, I don't know how you could see asking "would you like to petition?" as any kind of problem or violation. After all, they've initiated the discussion.
     
  4. David612

    David612 Registered User

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    Why would u expect the most ignorant person to know they have to ask? We need to take charge and ask good candidates.
     
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  5. goomba

    goomba Neo-Antient Site Benefactor

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    Asking to join does not mean saying: can I join.

    Sent from my XT1254 using Tapatalk
     
  6. Warrior1256

    Warrior1256 Site Benefactor

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    Agreed!
     
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  7. dfreybur

    dfreybur Premium Member

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    There is no reason to think it requires ignorance to expect to be invited. There ARE invitational jurisdictions in countries that have a more recent history of suppression and thus a stronger need for circumspection. There ARE invitational appendent bodies. There ARE honorary degrees that if you ask for them you lose any chance of getting them for another decade. Thus it is absolutely NOT a landmark, nor is it a tradition from the formation of grand lodge Freemasonry.

    Think carefully about the alphabet soup stickers. AASR, MWPHGLofMA, 2B1SK1, AAMONS, SRICF. At a glance do you really think an outsider is going to understand that one of those, but only one of those, is targeted at outsiders? When I saw that acronym on cars to me it had zero meaning as I'd seem alphabet soup stickers before and I knew they were for insiders.

    We do NOT make it known that we don't do invitations. This makes traditions against invitations defeatist. Lament once about lack of membership and you have in that act voiced yourself in favor of invitations.

    No, if there are no invitations in your jurisdiction, SAY SO. "Are you aware that we have no invitations to become a Mason? The only way you can become a Mason is to ask a Mason. Feel free to ask me the question any time you like." Followed by your wife saying "My husband can't invite you to join. So it's up to me. Please ask him to sign your petition. He has checked you out enough to know he wants to."
     
  8. Warrior1256

    Warrior1256 Site Benefactor

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    Absolutely agree.
     
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  9. David612

    David612 Registered User

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    Real talk, I have a buddy who wants to become a mason “when things settle down” as we all know this isn’t usually what life does but one day I will drag his butt to lodge.
    My actual plan is to introduce him to some brothers over a beer one day soon, I think the looking at the joining process is daunting and we just don’t help ourselves there.
     
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  10. Randy81

    Randy81 Premium Member

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    This is a great topic! At my home lodge, our oldest living member told me that even though asking may not be "allowed", there is nothing wrong with telling a man of good character that you think he'd make a good Mason. He told me that had they been doing that the past 50 years that the fraternity wouldn't be in the shape it is.

    I can tell you that freemasonry has impacted my life as much as nearly two decades in the Army and attending/serving in my local church. The men I've met have been some of the best. It's hard to understand how a fraternity as true as ours would lack numbers.
     
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  11. Warrior1256

    Warrior1256 Site Benefactor

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    Absolutely right!
    Outstanding!
     
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  12. Symthrell

    Symthrell Registered User

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    I have to admit that I really don't get the whole thing with not "asking" people to join. I remember talking to my friend about him being a mason and if I remember correctly I had to ask 3 times before I was given a petition. I didn't know I need to ask 3 times, had never heard that anywhere. I almost just gave up before asking the last time, I figured I was not the kind of guy they thought would fit in. Then after I got the petitions things moved right along.
     
  13. Warrior1256

    Warrior1256 Site Benefactor

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    I've heard of this but here in Kentucky you only have to ask once. In this day and age of declining membership requiring someone to ask three times just doesn't seem prudent.
     
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  14. MarkR

    MarkR Premium Member

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    I know a lot of people used to believe this "three times" thing. I've got a good friend whose own father wouldn't talk about Masonry with him until the third time he asked! I know I'd have never asked anybody three times; I'd have figured when they didn't respond the first time, that they didn't want me.
     
  15. CLewey44

    CLewey44 Registered User

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    I've thought about, if I were ever elected Master of a Lodge, mailing out to all the households in my area maybe a nice tri-fold information brochure that had some info on the fraternity. Not as an invite but just to get some info out there. As far as inviting guys and if GL permitted, I thought about maybe a very nicely done letter with some symbolism personally inviting someone with a specific date and time, candlewax sealed with a small notary mark on the wax. It'd be very special to that individual.
     
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  16. Warrior1256

    Warrior1256 Site Benefactor

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    Same here.
     
  17. Athena

    Athena Registered User

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    I would probably have to say that for people who may meet the qualifications to join. Possibly send them a letter through the mail that states they are invited to have a meal at the lodge? Not like direct invitation but just dinner and provide a number that they can contact to determine a time they are available. If they like it perhaps they will seek membership on there own. But not say anything along the lines of do you want to join. They may ask why they were invited to have dinner at your lodge. I think a good response to be something along the lines of wanting to get to know them more and how you view him as a good person. They may ask other questions and comment on the food but yea it's always good to be flexible.
     
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  18. Warrior1256

    Warrior1256 Site Benefactor

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    Good idea. Also maybe a simple verbal invitation.
     
  19. Akiles

    Akiles Registered User

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    I am not from the USA, I am from Spain...sorry for my English.

    I had a friend....he never invited me to join...but he never denied he was freemason (in fact, he was 33th)...he always repeated me the things you have to comply to be a freemason....when I felt I was prepared, I simply asked him to help me to join the freemasonry (he was in Spain and I was working in Mexico...so, my mother lodge is in Mexico D.F.)... last 5 years I have been attending a lodge in Panama city (Panama).

    All the brethren I have met had told me same thing...we are not proselytistic...but if somebody you know wants to know...talk with him...explain him what be a freemason means...and explain him that if he is really interested, he does has to ask for joining....and you can help him once he had done it....

    So far, I always have done like that...and till now, some friends have joined the freemasonry...

    But, I have been taught that if you don't go against the landmarks you are OK....and there's no landmarks regarding this issue...so, your lodge your traditions!!!

    That's my point of view...


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  20. Warrior1256

    Warrior1256 Site Benefactor

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    Sounds good to me.
     

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