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I would advise you to speak with your WM in private let him know how you feel give it a meeting or two then if things don't change or you are not presented with a reasonable excuse of why I would agree with bro Bill's answer peace and blessings in your travels brother
From what I was instructed you may use a colored stone of your choice it's the emblem displayed that will determine which house you are representing , as far as it being a un-affiliated or PHA thing , I've seen brothers from both sides with both colors , it's a personal preference
Did the online application last night I noticed on the paper application they ask to put Internet if you weren't sponsored by member of the society although it didn't mentioned doing so on the online application so I left that part blank is a sponsor required for membership ???
Learn how to walk the Tylers sword get familiar with your ritual work , & know how to enter by way of 357 would be a good start , it's always good to run it by your sec. he can notify the neighboring lodge of your desire to attend
First of all let me say congratulations on being accepted into our ancient society . I wouldn't suggest reading anything until you are initiated and then only the material given to you by your instructor , you will understand why once you have gained your 3°