Feeling low

Discussion in 'General Freemasonry Discussion' started by Mark Stockdale, Nov 26, 2019.

  1. Mark Stockdale

    Mark Stockdale Premium Member

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    So I have been recommended for a 2nd year as Junior deacon, but don't know if I want to accept. Don't get me wrong, I've loved doing the work and learning the ritual for the parts I do, (yes, we do it differently here in Scotland), but I feel as though I haven't really been the best Mason I could be.

    I've had to miss out on family nights, take holidays from work etc. so I could attend meetings and have been so busy learning ritual that I've let slip my studies at work for certifications I need for my job. I've come to realise that I am not living up to my oath, because I'm putting the lodge first instead of family and work commitments, I'm not becoming a better person.

    I don't want to let my lodge down, but can't see how I can continue in the role without getting my lodge / life balance sorted, which really means missing meetings in the coming year. I've discussed it with some of my brothers, but am not sure they understand how much this is getting to me.
     
    coachn likes this.
  2. Elexir

    Elexir Registered User

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    Well if its any help I understand you. Freemasonry should not be a priority over work and family and if you dont feel like you should be an officer you shouldnt.
     
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  3. Warrior1256

    Warrior1256 Site Benefactor

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    Absolutely! The ability to take care of yourself and those that depend upon you come first.
     
    Bill Lins likes this.
  4. coachn

    coachn Coach John S. Nagy Premium Member

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    The fact that you are so aware of how your participation in lodge activities has impacted other area as much as it has is a great step in the right direction. KUDOS!

    The fact that you both know and want to do something about it is a great second and third step as well.

    Your best thinking got you into this. Better thinking is required to move you past it.

    What must you see occur in your life to...

    1) ...Assure both your family and work are no longer negatively impacted by your lodge involvement?
    2) ...Assure this never occurs again?
    3) ...Assure your future lodge participation is properly moderated so that you enjoy it without the guilt and possible shame?

    -- Coach
     
  5. JanneProeliator

    JanneProeliator Registered User

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    There is three sections on the 24inch gauge and masonry only fits one thirs of it. If it starts to interupt the other two thirds then you just have to rethink how you govern it.
     
    Bloke likes this.
  6. Keith C

    Keith C Registered User

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    Exactly! Also, while it may not be true elsewhere as PA is so different than anywhere else, that 1/3 portion of time for Freemasonry is shared with other things, so the Lodge, etc should account for less than 1/3 your energy and activities.

    I myself have been guilty of spending more than the allotted time and effort on Masonic activities but, so far, have not negatively affected work or family, though rest and refreshment have been cheated.
     
  7. Brother_Steve

    Brother_Steve Premium Member

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    Family first and foremost. Is Junior Deacon an elected chair in your jurisdiction or is it appointed by the incoming Master?
     
  8. Warrior1256

    Warrior1256 Site Benefactor

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    Same here. However, my wife and I are both retired and are with each other all day and go out and do things so she doesn't begrudge me the evenings at Masonic activities.
     
  9. David612

    David612 Registered User

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    I’d decline the office-
    In fact I was asked to serve as Senior Deacon in two lodges next year and have decided to turn one down, it’s a hard conversation to have with the master elect but masonry shouldn’t be a burden.
     
  10. David612

    David612 Registered User

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    Double post
     
  11. Brother_Steve

    Brother_Steve Premium Member

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    Oof, that's tough. My wife would have my butt.

    What would you do if you were nominated for junior warden in both lodges the following year? I cannot serve as an elected officer in different lodges in my jurisdiction.

    (To clarify, I cannot be a warden or WM or any combination thereof in my jurisdiction at the same time)
     
    Last edited: Nov 27, 2019
  12. David612

    David612 Registered User

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    Same deal here, you can only be a principal officer in one lodge here... I think... but personally I’d just go with the lodge that fits me best.
    For example, my mother lodge has canned the Christmas party which was to be held at a brothers large stately home however he will not be in the country so it is postponed, so instead they are doing a lunch at the monthly social meetup, at midday on a workday... this speaks to the demographic the lodge is interested in perusing so I’m never going to fit well as a 30 year old. My other is a lodge rebuilding with a lot of young blood, I’m included, counted on and valued.
     
  13. Mark Stockdale

    Mark Stockdale Premium Member

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    It is an elected office in Scotland
     
  14. Brother_Steve

    Brother_Steve Premium Member

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    Another question from a New Jersey Mason.

    My Jurisdiction: Secretary, Treasurer, JW, SW and WM are elected positions. The rest of the offices are appointed by the incoming master. It is also a tradition that the the line moves up one seat each year. Therefore, the Senior Deacon is nominated for the South.

    Am I to assume that each year is an unknown for the sitting officers as to what they are doing the following year?
     
  15. Mark Stockdale

    Mark Stockdale Premium Member

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    Not at all, we do progress, (in our case every 2 years, but that varies from lodge to lodge in Scotland), the brethren vote each member into office, the only ones not voted in are the IPM and the Substitute Master, who are chosen by the RWM. All other positions have to be nominated, seconded and voted on, but it is generally accepted that the previous candidates will progress, unless they turn down the nomination.
     
  16. Mark Stockdale

    Mark Stockdale Premium Member

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    As an update, I accepted the nomination as JD for my second year, having spoken with a few of my brothers, who all said they would like me to continue, even if that meant I didn't always make the meetings, assuring me that my contributions to the lodge would still be valuable. I'm feeling better about the situation, and not so much under pressure to attend.
     
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  17. Canadian Paul

    Canadian Paul Registered User

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    Technically the situation is the same in my jurisdiction (GL of Scotland) - No holding of multiple offices. HOWEVER -you can apply for Dispensation from these restrictions. In practice, in my District (Newfoundland and Labrador), holding office in more than one lodge is not unknown, nor is holding two offices in the same lodge. As Lodge Secretary I had to apply to my District Grand Master before our Installation for Dispensation for six of the incoming Office-bearers who fell into one of these situations - including myself, who at present is not only Secretary in a Scottish Lodge but Junior Warden in a lodge under the GL of Newfoundland and Labrador. (Last spring there was a brother who, for a week, was simultaneously master of a lodge under the GL of Scotland and one under the GL of Newfoundland and Labrador!)
     

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