Infectious negative energy

Discussion in 'General Freemasonry Discussion' started by masonic1, Jul 31, 2013.

  1. masonic1

    masonic1 Registered User

    19
    0
    1
    Ok fellas here is what I'm dealing with. I am working with a young guy who wants to be a mason bad, he works along side myself and another mason brother of ours and he seems like a good guy but here comes the issue. This guy has a very infectious negative energy and from the issues that he faces I feel as though his negative energy is self inflicted and he is the only thing standing in his way from breaking those chains and becoming a very uplifting and positive brother. While I like him, I do not like the space that he puts me and others in especially my fellow masonic brother because we are always positive and happy and in search of nothing but positivity. So what I would like to do is hear from you guys and your opinions on how you would handle this situation personally cause it is bugging me at this point and keep in mind that through all of this, he just keeps asking me and my fellow brother to vouch for him to be petitioned and made a mason but in my soul I just do not feel that it would be right to do that since I just don't feel like he has even the basics of a potential mason brother to even bring him to the lodge with me to meet my elder brothers even just to talk.


    Charles Anderson Lodge No. 1314
     
  2. Bro Darren

    Bro Darren Premium Member

    333
    20
    18
    Wow, tough one facing you. Honesty does not need to hurt and can be done in a loving way.

    Maybe talk to him about the basics of what makes for a mason man as I'm sure he'd be open to hear about things. Explain what it means to you and to others (general) and that before a man can petition, he must do some personal sole searching. That all applicants need to be the right place to grow from.

    I guess what I'm trying to say is to get him to examine himself without being with out saying how you feel about his attitude.
     
  3. masonic1

    masonic1 Registered User

    19
    0
    1
    This is very interesting and true, but what if he is the type who only further gets disappointed and saddened by any news that is not in his favor? He seems like he only falls backward the more that happens instead of picking himself up and saying NO I will not allow myself to be defeated so I will push myself to create nothing but positive energy and move forward.


    Charles Anderson Lodge No. 1314
     
  4. Bro Darren

    Bro Darren Premium Member

    333
    20
    18
    That's why I referred to you telling him what it takes to be a mason man. Point out all the important factors.

    He should then, by default examine himself and see his own flaws when it comes to negative attitudes.

    When one is "self convicted" he can then make the right steps to change.

    If its just pointed out, and there is no self conviction one will never change.
     
  5. masonic1

    masonic1 Registered User

    19
    0
    1
    I will definitely take this approach brother thank you. To all brothers who read this post please still provide your thoughts on this topic cause I would love to hear many different opinions.


    Charles Anderson Lodge No. 1314
     
  6. Bro Darren

    Bro Darren Premium Member

    333
    20
    18
    I wish you all the luck and pray that your friend will grow and break the habit of negativity.
     
  7. 2B1

    2B1 Registered User

    11
    0
    1
    Masonry is a journey of self-reflection and introspective. This is lesson for you as well as him. You can only go the length of your cable tow. You cannot knowingly vouch for a person that you would not vote for to receive membership. I think your lesson in this is to respect the light that you represent. This young man may start to change his perspective and opinion of himself if you have a warm and frank conversation with him. If he responds well then you both benefit, and there is always next year. If he responds negatively, then you and your lodge dodged a potential problem. Be true to your obligation.

    2B1Ask1
     
  8. Jericho2013

    Jericho2013 Premium Member

    87
    6
    0
    I would never vouch for anyone that I would not be proud to introduce to my brothers. If he truly wants to be a mason for the right reasons I would say work with him and see if he is able to improve himself. If he's that bad he may actually need a therapist. Remember we want good men that we through masonry can make better men.
     
  9. Brother_Steve

    Brother_Steve Premium Member

    823
    454
    83
    Is his displeasure job related or does he have a general displeasure with life?

    Have you socialized with him outside his work setting to see what kind of person he is?
     
  10. coachn

    coachn Coach John S. Nagy Premium Member

    2,051
    2,026
    133
    Be frank with him, if you believe it shall not affect your working relationship. Let him know Masonry is about improvement. He wants something from you, and you should have no problem asking for something in return. Tell him he is likable, and that he has a general and genuine negative energy that would not affect the lodge well, should he be admitted. Make a deal with him. Ask him to show his interest in improvement by significantly changing his negative energy tendencies over the next 4 months and you'd be happy to discuss his petitioning further.
     
  11. Bro.doyleUK

    Bro.doyleUK Registered User

    25
    3
    1
    It very much sounds to me that this guy needs to find the right mentor in order to change his method of thinking and alter his circumstances for the better.
    Then freemasonry can only strengthen the positive changes and his life can and will change for the better.


    Freemason Connect HD
     
    Last edited: Aug 9, 2013
  12. Bro.doyleUK

    Bro.doyleUK Registered User

    25
    3
    1



    Freemason Connect HD
     
  13. Frater Cliff Porter

    Frater Cliff Porter Premium Member

    391
    30
    0
    You already know the answer.

    I would make certain he did not become a Mason.

    I would have a nice long talk as difficult as it is with him as to why.
     
  14. Chalms

    Chalms Registered User

    31
    1
    8
    Your obligation to Masonry dictates that you do not vouch for him at this time.

    Your obligation to your fellow man dictates that you do all within your cable tow to guide him on his path to light. That may mean being a good example, lifting him up with general positive words, having a frank and direct conversation, or any combination...

    My opinion, if he has asked directly about Masonry he has opened the door for you to answer directly about the minimum character required of a Mason.

    Best of luck. Seek light.


    Freemason Connect HD
     
  15. masonic1

    masonic1 Registered User

    19
    0
    1
    You guys have all been great with your replies to this topic thank you so much for being so helpful!


    Charles Anderson Lodge No. 1314
     
  16. timgould

    timgould Registered User

    41
    3
    6
    I concur with what others say here. The foundation of Masons are taking a good man and making him better. It sounds like the foundation isn't quite prepared yet with this gentleman. Perhaps you can challenge him to "wait". I have had to have that same conversation with my own father. He too expressed interest, but is not at a place in his life where I could honestly vouch for his character right now. He has potential, but things must get squared away first. I encourage him to wait it out. And told him that he was not yet ready to become a mason. This has challenged him personally to look at his life and reexamine his actions. He has taken this delay as a way to motivate himself to change. Perhaps this might work also with this gentleman. Good Luck.
     
  17. Trufflehound

    Trufflehound Registered User

    62
    10
    8
    My intent, here, is not to put you on trial for what you've said. It's just that it's difficult for me to understand how you feel about this man, because your statements appear contradictory to me.

    A lot of these quotes are at odds with each other (in my opinion). And from the sound of the decision to be made, i don't envy you for having to make it. It sounds like a tough one. In the end, you'll do what you feel is right, but I'll leave you with an Old Tiler Talk that I've found useful for similar (even though not quite the same) situations.

    http://phoenixmasonry.org/Old Tiler Talks.pdf

    I'm not sure if that's helpful to you or not, but I believe there's a lot of wisdom in that story. Good luck to you.
     
    Last edited: Aug 14, 2013
  18. Michael Hatley

    Michael Hatley Premium Member

    461
    48
    28
    If he is the sort of man that poisons conversations, that brings everyone around him down and so forth - then I'd simply not invite him to lodge. It is true that Masonry is about making good men better, but it isn't therapy.

    It is a bit of a curse that we have, I think, that some of the best men we know show no interest in Masonry, and some of the most mediocre fellows show the most. It is almost painful and something pretty well all of us experience.

    Personally I simply would not vouch for a man that requires any kind of serious "reform". Making good men better is different than making deeply flawed men good.
     
  19. Bro.doyleUK

    Bro.doyleUK Registered User

    25
    3
    1
    Masonic one, Just out of interest how is your freind/colleague and may I ask his he is still perusing masonry?
    Also his "self inflicting" negativities...
    Have they declined or improved since your original post?
     
  20. Blake Bowden

    Blake Bowden Administrator Staff Member

    5,681
    992
    113
    Agreed.
     

Share My Freemasonry