Is this a deal breaker?

Discussion in 'Becoming a Freemason' started by Awelton, Apr 13, 2016.

  1. Awelton

    Awelton Premium Member

    I am a very private person, as is my wife. I have no interest in having people over to inspect my home. I realize that this is a bit strange, and maybe comes off as standoffish, but our home is our only place of solitude and we keep it to us and our son. I don't mind providing proof that I own my home, and anyone has the right to drive by and see that it exists. The yard is tidy and the paint is fresh every year. I wouldn't mind at all if we met in the back yard over some lemonade, I just don't have people in my home.

    I'm just not sure whether this would be a hindrance when it comes time to petition. I am a law abiding citizen, I consider myself a moral person. I don't think that there will be any other issue in the process.

    Is the home visit something that can be waived?
    Levelhead likes this.
  2. Glen Cook

    Glen Cook G A Cook Site Benefactor

    Not all jurisdictions visit the home. I would talk to a Mason in your area.
  3. Bloke

    Bloke Premium Member

    Indeed. We seem to be doing it less and less now days in favour of a more formal meeting in our building or a less formal one in a convivial venue such as over lunch in a restaurant..

    I would follow Bro Glen's advice...
  4. Levelhead

    Levelhead Premium Member

    If you have nothing to hide.. Then your ok!

    They just come, sit on your couch and talk.

    You can tell alot just by the way people keep their house.

    Some flags ive seen.

    -smell like weed?
    -dirty and filthy?
    -kids running around with no diaper and bruises?
    - poor conditions?

    Its done and should allways be done!
    It just gives another view of the way you live your life. Thats it!

    Good luck!

    Sent from Mossy Oak Swamp Bottom
    jermy Bell and dfreybur like this.
  5. hanzosbm

    hanzosbm Premium Member

    I never considered this. I was getting ready to respond that the purpose of meeting in one's home is to have a relaxed atmosphere where you can have a private conversation, and how that could be done elsewhere, but the things you have mentioned are indeed insightful and it's something I'll have to keep in mind going forward. Thank you.
  6. Ripcord22A

    Ripcord22A Site Benefactor

    Do younot have friends over to your house to watch the game or something? Its just like that.
  7. dfreybur

    dfreybur Premium Member

    If a candidate had us meet in his back yard I would be just fine with that.

    The primary reason for meeting at home is to confirm his wife is okay with his petition - Once I saw that happen.

    Confirming that he's not homeless is a secondary purpose and that we can do just fine in the back yard.

    It's weird but everyone is weird in one way or another. That may as well be your way to be weird. Not a deal breaker.
    tldubb and Derinique Kendrick like this.
  8. Derinique Kendrick

    Derinique Kendrick Registered User

    I understand that is just the way you are, and that is all fine because you have that right. but I think you are overthinking this one. You are making it much more than what it really is. All they do is come in, sit down, ask and answer questions, then they are on their way. No one is going to walk around your house, let alone your living room or den looking for things. But as another brother mentioned, if something just sticks out that wouldn't help your situation, well then you have a problem.
    But by all means, @Awelton, if inviting them out back for lemonade is what you want to do then go ahead, that is absolutely fine. No one ever said where it had to be facilitated. They can't just walk in the door and say where they are going to do it. They do have to be instructed or invited to where the meeting is going to take place. After all, it is YOUR house! Best wishes!
    Bloke and dfreybur like this.
  9. Bloke

    Bloke Premium Member

    LOL - mine is a disaster, clean but disheveled ... but I'll feed and water you when you turn up, but not everyone gets an invite, but there is no brother I would turn away who turned up at my door.
    jermy Bell, drw72 and Warrior1256 like this.
  10. MRichard

    MRichard Mark A. Ri'chard Premium Member

    It depends on the lodge but I don't know. You want to join a fraternity but you have a problem letting a future brother in your home? That would bother me.
  11. MarkR

    MarkR Premium Member

    I usually meet candidates on some neutral ground to talk over coffee. I have met at their home, but that was at their request.
  12. Warrior1256

    Warrior1256 Site Benefactor

    Great attitude brother!
    This would bother me too. You want to be called "brother" by me but I'm not welcome in your home?
    jermy Bell and bezobrazan like this.
  13. rsims79235

    rsims79235 Registered User

    My wife and I are the same way. Just ask if both of you can meet the investigation committee at the lodge, that way she can see what you are joining. That's what I did. It is the internal and not the external qualifications that recommend a man to be made a mason.
  14. Derek Harvey

    Derek Harvey Registered User

    Wait. We're suppose to live in houses?
    Classical and Warrior1256 like this.
  15. dfreybur

    dfreybur Premium Member

    Round ones made of rock just like in the Flintstones!
    Derek Harvey and Warrior1256 like this.
  16. Warrior1256

    Warrior1256 Site Benefactor

    Lol....good ones.
  17. TyleBrutus

    TyleBrutus Registered User

    I met at a local restaurant for my petition meeting, we sat outside and had some sandwiches. I think it is a reasonable compromise being that a lot of people desire their privacy and have one reason or another to not want their houses imposed upon.
  18. The Traveling Man

    The Traveling Man Registered User

    I am not a fan of having people in my home either, but I sucked it up for the Lodge. I had an initial meeting with a member at a cafe. Then I had a meeting with the Worshipful Master at the Lodge. But once I petition it was necessary for an Investigation Committee to visit me at my home. I am not sure if it's possible to request that the home meeting be conducted somewhere else, but it may raise questions such as "Why?" That request may be included in the Committee's report to the Lodge and may not sit well with the voting Brethren.
    Warrior1256 likes this.
  19. phulseapple

    phulseapple Premium Member

    My sincerest apologies, but I think you may have the wrong idea of what is occurring with the visit. The investigating committee is not there to inspect your home. We couldn't care any less if you have designer furniture and the latest and greatest 70 inch, 4K tv with surround sound, or simply bargain furniture with a 13 inc black and white set with rabbit ears. Stuff like that just is not important.
  20. Warrior1256

    Warrior1256 Site Benefactor

    Good points!
    The Traveling Man likes this.

Share My Freemasonry