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What to tell friends

MarkR

Premium Member
Last month, on the night of officer installation, I walked into the sports-bar type of restaurant where we were meeting for our pre-lodge meal. I saw a non-Mason friend as I came in. He said "you're the fourth or fifth person I've seen walk in here in a tuxedo. What's going on?" I said "I was told this is a formal dining establishment. Was I given bad information?"

After a laugh, I told him what was really going on.
 

MarkR

Premium Member
Now that I'm retired, I go to the "adult community center" several times a week and shoot pool with a bunch of other old farts (at 66, I'm the youngest of the group.) Since I pretty much always wear something with a S&C (belt buckle, cap, etc.) it didn't take long before they noticed. Those who have commented have all made it something along the lines of "I've never heard anything but good stuff about you guys and what you do."

By the way, there are some really good pool players among the octogenarians.
 

Joseph Thornton

Registered User
As a prospective member I am not being open about it yet. Active in the Assemblies of God I am certain that it would be frowned on, and someone may even try to reeducate me.

I've talked with my wife about what I am doing. I have 2 teen daughters that live at home. They know I am "hangin out" with Masons but they have no idea or no interest in what that even means. My 24 year old son is in town visiting this week. I've told him of my intentions to join. No one else.

I have no intention of getting into a battleground argument about Freemasonry before I have seen more and know enough to confidently defend the activity. So for now, I have no plans of "letting it out" before I am at the very least a MM. At that time we'll reevaluate where we are in that combat zone.

Honestly I expect after becoming an established Mason of my own right, some people will begin to reconsider their prejudice of FM. "hmm well if HE is a Mason and I respect him.... maybe FM really isn't evil?" I sometimes approach Christian witnessing in the same way. Unless there is an opportunity for ministry I don't force it. People can tell there is something "different" about me. Then when they realize I am a Christian it opens doors for conversation and sheds a positive light on faith.......
....usually.

But if you already have a negative views of Christians or Masons, you'll have a preconceived negative view of me before you've even given me a chance.
 

hanzosbm

Premium Member
I have no intention of getting into a battleground argument about Freemasonry before I have seen more and know enough to confidently defend the activity. So for now, I have no plans of "letting it out" before I am at the very least a MM. At that time we'll reevaluate where we are in that combat zone.

In some jurisdictions, it is forbidden to defend Freemasonry. While I appreciate and understand your enthusiasm, I would recommend pumping the brakes a tad. Based on your profile picture, I'm assuming you are military, in which case, "...you're just holding the tail".
 

Joseph Thornton

Registered User
Are you kidding? You mean to tell em that if someone finds out I am a Mason, and accuses me or my lodge of worshipping goats I am "forbidden" from defending myself from their ignorance?

You recommend I "pump the brakes"? On what? I already said I had no intention of even telling anyone I am prospecting. If I am not even making it known, how can I pump the brakes?

I am prior military. ETS 1999. The pic is desert colored gear that I use for hiking, camping outdoor stuff because it helps me stay cooler in the hot summer active months. I'm "holding the tail" of what and what does it have to do with military?

I'm confused and baffled all around.
 

hanzosbm

Premium Member
Are you kidding? You mean to tell em that if someone finds out I am a Mason, and accuses me or my lodge of worshipping goats I am "forbidden" from defending myself from their ignorance?
Yep, that's what I'm telling you. At least in some jurisdictions, including my own.

You recommend I "pump the brakes"? On what? I already said I had no intention of even telling anyone I am prospecting. If I am not even making it known, how can I pump the brakes?
I meant no offense. Like I said, I admire your enthusiasm. But discussing how and in what way you discuss your non-involvement in a group seems a bit premature, does it not?

I am prior military. ETS 1999. The pic is desert colored gear that I use for hiking, camping outdoor stuff because it helps me stay cooler in the hot summer active months. I'm "holding the tail" of what and what does it have to do with military?
Well, first and foremost, thank you for your service. Regarding 'holding the tail', it's the latter part of a fairly vulgar expression (hence my only including a part of it) used in many circles within the military. I thought you might be familiar with it. I suppose it could be another way of suggesting to pump the brakes; the meaning of which I previously went over.

I had no intention of being rude, so I apologize if it was taken that was. Just advising caution. Do with that advice what you wish.
 

Joseph Thornton

Registered User
I meant no offense. Like I said, I admire your enthusiasm. But discussing how and in what way you discuss your non-involvement in a group seems a bit premature, does it not?

Discussing how I discuss my non-involvement? I'm still confused. It's my turn to apologize. I am trying to understand what you mean. I am confident I have better than average comprehension of the English language, but I'm not getting it.

Yep, that's what I'm telling you. At least in some jurisdictions, including my own.

This makes no sense as I have seen website after website, forum replies, youtube videos and comment after comment of Masons setting the record straight over acusassions that don't add up. At any rate, I said I intend to avoid those battle at the very least until I know for sure what I am defending.

I am not a Mason. I don't know any. I am honestly coming in alone and of my own free will with no one to encourage me or speak well of Masonry in any way. I have very little idea what is going inside the lodge. I am trying to understand as much as possible without uncovering anything to spoil it. So I have no informed experience to defend what is or is not being done. I believe there is nothing of shame or evil happening. But until I've seen it first hand it's even harder for me to defend. I expect at some point someone will have questions. Though I will not reveal secrets, I don't even have insight comprehension to even answer how I know we don't worship goats. Know what I mean?

I am bored, looking for Masonic stuff to chat about. I clicked on a discussion about "how you tell your friends". My answer is I haven't told them. And for now I don't intend to. I'm trying to think hard on how this could be viewed the wrong way. I'm rereading what I type. And I don't get it.

Thank you for your careful apologies. If I've been presumptuous or rude I apologize too. In my ignorance I am not putting all this together.
 

Dontrell Stroman

Premium Member
Discussing how I discuss my non-involvement? I'm still confused. It's my turn to apologize. I am trying to understand what you mean. I am confident I have better than average comprehension of the English language, but I'm not getting it.



This makes no sense as I have seen website after website, forum replies, youtube videos and comment after comment of Masons setting the record straight over acusassions that don't add up. At any rate, I said I intend to avoid those battle at the very least until I know for sure what I am defending.

I am not a Mason. I don't know any. I am honestly coming in alone and of my own free will with no one to encourage me or speak well of Masonry in any way. I have very little idea what is going inside the lodge. I am trying to understand as much as possible without uncovering anything to spoil it. So I have no informed experience to defend what is or is not being done. I believe there is nothing of shame or evil happening. But until I've seen it first hand it's even harder for me to defend. I expect at some point someone will have questions. Though I will not reveal secrets, I don't even have insight comprehension to even answer how I know we don't worship goats. Know what I mean?

I am bored, looking for Masonic stuff to chat about. I clicked on a discussion about "how you tell your friends". My answer is I haven't told them. And for now I don't intend to. I'm trying to think hard on how this could be viewed the wrong way. I'm rereading what I type. And I don't get it.

Thank you for your careful apologies. If I've been presumptuous or rude I apologize too. In my ignorance I am not putting all this together.
Which GL are you considering to join ?
 

Randy81

Premium Member
In some jurisdictions, it is forbidden to defend Freemasonry. While I appreciate and understand your enthusiasm, I would recommend pumping the brakes a tad. Based on your profile picture, I'm assuming you are military, in which case, "...you're just holding the tail".
When we are initiated we are told not to defend Freemasonry to those who have negative feelings towards it.
 

Joseph Thornton

Registered User
So your instruction not to defend Freemasonry, is this a general umbrella statement basically not to represent Freemasonry to perhaps and newspaper or something that puts out a negative article?

Or is it a literal and specific command not to deny an allegation that you worship a goat?

As I've already pointed out there is a MOUNTAIN of replies, comments, videos, websites, and examples of individual masons setting the record straight of conspiracies.

I also don't know why I am feeling defensive about it. Since I clearly stated I just don't want to tell friends and family about it until after I know what I am talking about. I don't think there is any goat worship in the lodge. I but I cant REALLY say for certain since I cant go in there yet.

I am in this thing blind and alone. I have no guide. I don't know any Masons. I go to the pre-lodge dinner alone. I socialize, make small talk, eat dinner, cordially shake hands and then I have to leave. Not much wiser than when I came in. When I leave, I leave in my truck by myself just like when I came, and my truck is the only one pulling away from the lodge.
 

Randy81

Premium Member
I think he just meant why waste your time defending the fraternity with someone that is obviously ignorant and just putting the fraternity down. Naturally, I think we'd like to probably put someone in their place for speaking negatively, however, it's our responsibility to turn the cheek. I'm only speaking of what was told to me, and it could be different everywhere else.
 

Joseph Thornton

Registered User
Not an angle I will be able to take with friends (which is the title of the topic) family and church members who know. Surely eventually they will know. Surely someone at some point will have questions. My son and I have already had a couple conversations about Illuminati. (unrelated to my masonic interest) Just an example, it would be foolish to think I can't or shouldnt say anything ever. As Ive said a few times, I am hoping to avoid it at least until I am better experienced inside the lodge. This topic was never even about putting random people in their place.

I've been asked about my GL a couple times. I find this odd considering I've never been to the GL, and haven't even petitioned the local lodge yet. Even stranger, I answer the question (more than once) where the GL is, and the asker always disappears after that. Never commenting again on why they asked or an conclusion of why it matters. Maybe nothing but less than polite for sure, to ask me a question, I answer and then am left hanging. It feels like someone asking your name but not offering their own name in return.

Based on the last several topics I tried to participate in, I am beginning to think I should stop trying to make social with the broader FM community. This is less than encouraging to try.
 

Bloke

Premium Member
Hi Joseph.

I encourage you on your discussions and questions.

Rules of Grand Lodges differ, as do ritual. Even simple things like alcohol.... under many grand lodges, it if forbidden. Here, its not, we crack a beer at lodge and get excited when scotch appears. In other places its an offense to do that.

The interest on your GL would be about the rules you will work under and if its regular.

The caution on defending freemasonry would be pn several fronts. GL rules aside, a conversation you have might be countered by "you dont really know" because you have not been through the degrees. As a Past Master i have and can talk with authority about what i've seen and give it my first hand approval...... as indeed you can, but that does not extend to what happens behind the closed doors of the lodge. But it does extend to what you already understand, which is Frremasonry is a good organization.

Me, i rarely try to reason with the crazt folk who think we're devil worshippers or the illuminati. ..
 

Randy81

Premium Member
Not an angle I will be able to take with friends (which is the title of the topic) family and church members who know. Surely eventually they will know. Surely someone at some point will have questions. My son and I have already had a couple conversations about Illuminati. (unrelated to my masonic interest) Just an example, it would be foolish to think I can't or shouldnt say anything ever. As Ive said a few times, I am hoping to avoid it at least until I am better experienced inside the lodge. This topic was never even about putting random people in their place.

I've been asked about my GL a couple times. I find this odd considering I've never been to the GL, and haven't even petitioned the local lodge yet. Even stranger, I answer the question (more than once) where the GL is, and the asker always disappears after that. Never commenting again on why they asked or an conclusion of why it matters. Maybe nothing but less than polite for sure, to ask me a question, I answer and then am left hanging. It feels like someone asking your name but not offering their own name in return.

Based on the last several topics I tried to participate in, I am beginning to think I should stop trying to make social with the broader FM community. This is less than encouraging to try.
I think you missed the point. I would think that those closer to you may ask you but not attack the fraternity. You can certainly answer questions and explain. What we were saying was those who are putting us down. I'm new to masonry but think the best way to show anyone what we're about is invite them to an open lodge as they can see the brethren. My wife was 100% ok with me joining but gained much more respect after coming to an open lodge and seeing an alter with the Holy Bible on it.

As far as the forum, I think another thread you started was a bit questionable as it could be offensive to other members. I don't think anyone has anything against you or anything like that.
 

Dontrell Stroman

Premium Member
Not an angle I will be able to take with friends (which is the title of the topic) family and church members who know. Surely eventually they will know. Surely someone at some point will have questions. My son and I have already had a couple conversations about Illuminati. (unrelated to my masonic interest) Just an example, it would be foolish to think I can't or shouldnt say anything ever. As Ive said a few times, I am hoping to avoid it at least until I am better experienced inside the lodge. This topic was never even about putting random people in their place.

I've been asked about my GL a couple times. I find this odd considering I've never been to the GL, and haven't even petitioned the local lodge yet. Even stranger, I answer the question (more than once) where the GL is, and the asker always disappears after that. Never commenting again on why they asked or an conclusion of why it matters. Maybe nothing but less than polite for sure, to ask me a question, I answer and then am left hanging. It feels like someone asking your name but not offering their own name in return.

Based on the last several topics I tried to participate in, I am beginning to think I should stop trying to make social with the broader FM community. This is less than encouraging to try.
With all due respect brother, be careful what you say and post on blogs, forums, internet, etc because you never know who's watching. I noticed a lot of brothers talk about how they were accepted and going to be initiated. I was warned against it. There is a reason why as I later learned throughout my degrees. I would hate for you to say something and a brother misinterpreted you the wrong way and makes a phone call and there you go...... Wondering why you couldn't get in. People talk, especially freemasons. Prime example : In my unit, there was a guy that done his contract and got out. The topic of freemasonry came up due to multiple masons being in the unit and people inquiring about what we do. Someone brought up how the guy that had left said he was petitioning a lodge to become a freemason because he was running for Sheriff and wanted the support of the Masons. One of my battle buddies said who is a mason asked his name and advised that no man ought to join the freemasons for personal gain especially if that is your only sole purpose for joining. I later found out that he made some phone calls. I'm just going to say it this way, the guy is not a freemason yet. Not to say he can't ever become one, but I'm sure it delayed his progress. I don't think you've done anything wrong, just trying to help you achieve your goal my brother.
 
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