Well, I hope I won't offend anyone with my posting. It is not my intent, please put it on my lack of finesse in language skill if it does.
This may add some additional thoughts, as what is completely normal for you, is somewhat strange for me. I want to tell you my experiences and thoughts with and about american masonry.
For me, your charitable projects look great. Large ammounts of money, each appendant body with its large-scale health projects, smaller neighborhood projects for the lodges and on and on. Then I was amazed by the incredible number of brothers you have and the scale of social omnipresence you have. Here where I am from, social projects are small scale, sometimes the money is even given anonymous. People don't know us, not even the taxi drivers know the lodge building in their town. There is no need to hide actively, but we are just not on the "social radar screen" of the public.
My next experience was with one day classes. I chatted to a brother, a 32nd degree mason, who couldn't even name his craft lodge because he was not aware that he should have one. After a while I got the picture and he explained that he was a mason for 2 weeks and has absolutely no idea of the craft. The comparable degree in my rite is the 10th degree, and it takes you at least 12 years to get there, if you are an active officer, 15 years if not.
At another occasion I talked to a different brother. He told me that je just returned from lodge and had a wonderful, almost perfect meeting. I asked him, what he did take home from the meeting, but he didn't understand what I was talking about. I put it to the language barrier, talking about such a specialized topic like masonry goes way over my school-english. I asked him, what has touched him inside, what was the special moment in the ritual, that moved him so much that his spirit surely still nourish from. The only answer I got was "the ritual was performed flawless".
I was not able to comprehend, because I know the ritual as a deeply moving, spiritual and meditative moment. There is so much more in the ritual than pleasure of the audience and cameradery. Then some US brothers explained me, that the great chatity projects are a double edged sword. The projects have to be financed and that means a large membership is vital. With a contemplative and meditative system, your lodges would have a maximum of 100 members, even in the larger cities. Fees would be rising for membership, donations for charity would be dropping by the same ammount, so that the brothers can still afford masonry, and the charity projects would either fall or have to be financed with outside sources, no longer be masonic charity.
Well, that's the situation here in Germany. I guess our fees are higher, but after all, I pay as much as anyone of you, because my charity donations are surely much smaller. The question is, why did we join masonry. If I wanted to do good in form of charity, I would have joined one of the countless other charity organizations. I won't have to dress up for them, I don't have to spend time in meetings unless I want to and I can do good with my money. I could even give donations without being a member, and with most organizations here I would get a tax refund with my donation, which I do not get in lodge as lodges are usually not registered non-profit organizations.
I joined masonry because I was searching for a way of western spirituality. An addition to my faith and church service, where I can meet others of different ways of life and ways of faith, to grow spiritually more than I could do in my self-given borders. Charity is a part of spiritual growth, but it is the fruit, not the seed.
You see, I have 12 years of experience in "my" kind of masonry, and as you see it is very different from yours. I prefer mine, but I don't want to judge what is better or worse, it is just different. I hear US brothers complaining about your kind of masonry, and I hear German brothers complaining about ours, because they want it to be like yours. For me, my kind ist the best and I would not wish it any different. But maybe my thoughts give you an outside-view of "your" masonry, and that is sometimes a good addition to evaluate what one has.