Is there a site where i can find lodges in my area, I tried the phone book and had no luck.
Nearly every jurisdiction's web site has a lodge locator. Not knowing your location we can't point you directly. There are all sorts of ways to find which are the local regular and recognized jurisdiction. Here's a simple search method that uses the fact that modern grand lodge Masonry was founded in England so the method is like a few from the point of origin. The list is not exhaustive but ever jurisdiction on the list is good.
http://www.ugle.org.uk/about/foreign-grand-lodges
Click the North America tab. Find your state or province. Use the jurisdiction(s) listed there for your search.
One caveat about military deployment - Most grand lodges have a minimum residency requirement. It takes a while to earn your way through the degrees and the paperwork to spread degrees among lodges in other states is a big hassle. Not all grand lodges waive the requirement for active duty military.
For the US the standard way to meet the members is to show up before one of the monthly meetings. Introduce yourself by email and/or phone but never wait for a response. Many lodges are terrible at responding to contacts from non-members by those methods. All lodges are good at responding to guys who show up in person. Once their tell them your residency situation and enjoy the fellowship.
Outside of the US you will likely need to know a member who can introduce you. The level of openness is different inside and outside the US.