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Not wanting to go to lodge anymore.

pointwithinacircle2

Rapscallion
Premium Member
I find that Disinterested Compassion is a useful tool. To me it means to care about, and offer assistance to, others without becoming caught up in the results of my actions. In modern psycho-babble it is sometimes called setting boundaries. Masonically it is the length of my cable-tow. I have found that I harm myself and others when I become emotionally involved with the results of my charity. This means of course that sometimes I must sometimes place my personal boundaries where others might not want them to be. This especially true of those who wish to take advantage of me.
 
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Levelhead

Premium Member
Sad that a written agreement has to be made with a brother;(

I should of made a written agreement when i installed baseboards and trimmed out his whole house for free! Lol oh well i felt good helping out a brother for free. I never get a free ride ever.




Sent from Mossy Oak Swamp Bottom
 

coachn

Coach John S. Nagy
Premium Member
Sad that a written agreement has to be made with a brother;(

I should of made a written agreement when i installed baseboards and trimmed out his whole house for free! Lol oh well i felt good helping out a brother for free. I never get a free ride ever.
Yup. Sad is true. However, there's a huge difference between rolling up your sleeves in fellowship and doing so in business affairs.
 

The Undertaker

Premium Member
I am sorry to learn of this big issue, and at the same time, not surprised. What's worse is that we expect our Brethren to be on the level, as we have with them. However, please continue to contribute by your attendance, and knowledge, regardless of which lodge. I do not attend my lodge much any longer (and I'm a past master) for personal reasons, not as extreme as yours. But trust me, there are wonderful lodges that will genuinely want you. That said, I'm sadly disappointed when "these things happen" because we are Masons. These things aren't as likely to happen to Brothers . . . but they do. Which makes my resolve, and maybe yours, even more concrete. Lodges need us good men, period, as much (or more) than we need them. Keep that in mind, move forward doing good. Here endeth the lesson . . . .
 

Levelhead

Premium Member
And on top of it me and me wife are in the OES , my wifes the marshall,and him and his wife are in the west.

Cluster ****


Sent from Mossy Oak Swamp Bottom
 

Bloke

Premium Member
Sad that a written agreement has to be made with a brother;(
Sent from Mossy Oak Swamp Bottom

I disagree.

I've been in business with my father and brother by blood. I am currently in business with a brother.

In all these activities, we act professionally by documenting agreements in writing to allow mutual understanding and a record to refer back to. That's got nothing to do with 'honesty' but is indeed a bit to do with mistrusting the human ability to clearly recall snd/or interpret what was agreed. Clearly writing it all down and all approving that record, whether in the form of a contract or minutes, gives us all a record of what was agreed.

I am currently employed by two groups of building owners comprised of Freemasons, again documented by exchange of letter forming a contract.

This has always been incredibly useful to look back in months and years passed to make sure we are all meeting our obligations.

Recording agreements in writting is busineess 101.

As an aside, if we dont need such mechanisms - why do lodges keep minutes ? We keep them so we have mutually accepted record of events and agreements and a way to communicate them for future reference
 

Dontrell Stroman

Premium Member
Sorry to hear that brother. Your right, it is a shame. You should be able to do business with a brother mason and not worry about issues like your having. Like I was told from a brother awhile ago, freemasonry is brothers taking care of brothers.

Sent from my 831C using My Freemasonry Pro mobile app
 

David Carroll jr

Registered User
Bro.! Please stop seeking to reconcile with him. You shall never find peace and satisfaction with this man based upon the game that is being played by him.

From what you wrote, you did him a favor and he didn't want to reciprocate professionally. He didn't want to contribute his fare share to assure that he could continue working with you. That reeks of obligation violation.

Furthermore, payment in cash means he doesn't want to have his income tracked. The fact that he will work for "cash only" tells me that he is involved in an unethical and potentially illegal game financially and wants to usurp whatever rules that govern his financial situation.

You are doing things legally, morally and ethically and he expects you to not do this to have him involved. He does not have the right to complain if you offered him an opportunity to work with you under specific conditions that prevent YOU from getting in trouble.

Brother. Stop the game. He is offering you a place in his Drama Triangle to control you and to obtain power over you and over all that will listen to his "story". He is engaged in emotional blackmail and manipulation and that is not what friends or Brothers do to one another.

Don't give it to his game. Accept that he doesn't see that he is not one the level with you, not being upright and is being immoral in his choices and expectations. You deserve better and should demand it.

If all that you say is true, you have done NOTHING WRONG, other than allow yourself to feel unnecessary guilt over all this.
Damn Straight!
 

David Carroll jr

Registered User
Speaking from experience. If you have an option extricate yourself from that situation post haste. Like Coach said, He has drawn you into his Drama Triangle and you need to get away for your own mental well being.

I had a similar situation in my Mother Lodge. It got to the point where I hated going so I demitted, joined another lodge and regained my love for the Craft. This is up to you now.
 

acjohnson53

Registered User
Bro I'm sorry to the solution is always there read about your short comings, But always remember to "Look to the East" the solution is always there. tighten up on his cable tow to find out the problem, and then fix it from there
 
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