I am having trouble joining a lodge ( my wife)

Discussion in 'Frequently Asked Questions' started by rider.of.rohan, Jan 27, 2017.

  1. Brother_Steve

    Brother_Steve Premium Member

    915
    495
    83
    The first year of US masonry is tough. Degrees and studying. Especially if you live in a state where it is mouth to ear. This means you may be out of the house multiple times a month to meet with your mentor.
     
    Bill Lins likes this.
  2. Thomas Stright

    Thomas Stright Premium Member

    376
    278
    83
    Wait until she is good with it. We have an EA that is only allowed to study once per week.... he was initiated about the same time as I was and is still not to the EA obligation in his work. His wife doesn't like him away from home.


    Sent from my iPhone using My Freemasonry
     
  3. Ripcord22A

    Ripcord22A Site Benefactor

    3,294
    2,018
    183
  4. Thomas Stright

    Thomas Stright Premium Member

    376
    278
    83
    I agree.... he also travels for work so there is more to it I am sure.


    Sent from my iPhone using My Freemasonry
     
  5. Ripcord22A

    Ripcord22A Site Benefactor

    3,294
    2,018
    183
    I travel for work, my wife gets frustrated that im gone alot but has never not "allowed" me to go. Ive chosen not to go a few times to preserve the peace and harmony at home. When I was learning my work for the degrees i just had my coach come.by my office at the end of the day, told my recruiters to go home and then studied for about an hr. Simple text to the wife amd all was good.

    Sent from my LG-H918 using My Freemasonry mobile app
     
    Bloke likes this.
  6. Warrior1256

    Warrior1256 Site Benefactor

    7,463
    3,401
    183
    That IS ridiculous. If the wife is this much against his participation he shouldn't have joined to begin with.
     
  7. Glen Cook

    Glen Cook G A Cook Site Benefactor

    3,114
    3,628
    183
    I only studied once a week in a mouth to ear jurisdiction.
     
  8. Glen Cook

    Glen Cook G A Cook Site Benefactor

    3,114
    3,628
    183
    Wait till you're married 37 years. The wife asks if you don't have a meeting to go to.
     
  9. Warrior1256

    Warrior1256 Site Benefactor

    7,463
    3,401
    183
    Lol....have been married for 22 and a half years and I have already heard "Do you have a meeting this evening"?
     
    Bloke likes this.
  10. Bloke

    Bloke Premium Member

    4,501
    3,181
    133
    I don't get asked when I'm busy but what nights I'm free.... it's a shorter list...and it's not a negative thing- my other half is out 2-3 nights herself. *sometimes* we even go out together lol..
     
    Ripcord22A, Bill Lins and Warrior1256 like this.
  11. Zack

    Zack Registered User

    310
    133
    43
    Don't join at this time in your life
     
  12. Warrior1256

    Warrior1256 Site Benefactor

    7,463
    3,401
    183
    Same here....usually to a family dinner at the lodge, AASR, or YR. Lol.
     
    Bloke likes this.
  13. Bill Lins

    Bill Lins Moderating Staff Staff Member

    4,386
    1,204
    183
    I had yet to have been married 21 years when I started getting that!
     
    Ripcord22A, Warrior1256 and Glen Cook like this.
  14. Bill Lins

    Bill Lins Moderating Staff Staff Member

    4,386
    1,204
    183
    Sounds a lot like us!
     
    Ripcord22A and Warrior1256 like this.
  15. JJones

    JJones Moderator Staff Member

    1,145
    622
    113
    The most important part of your post:

    If she doesn't want you to do it, then don't. Freemasonry is a huge commitment and if the wife isn't on board then you should wait until she is.
     
  16. Mike Martin

    Mike Martin Eternal Apprentice Premium Member

    705
    443
    83
    Join when you are older and do not have such serious family commitments that even Freemasonry demands must come first!
     
  17. GGG

    GGG Site Benefactor

    35
    31
    68
    I follow the idea of having your partner to agree with your choices. I'm so lucky. Mine is uber-supportive (and sometimes even more enthusiast when I talk about these matters) I'm a bit surprised to read that the first meetings include family?! I was more than happy to let my wife attend the meetings at my home (I don't know the exact English word for,these two important meetings) as I was proud of her support, but this didn't seem necessary. I don't know anything yet, but instinctivly it would have felt better the other way.
     
    Last edited: Apr 11, 2017
    Thomas Stright likes this.
  18. rpbrown

    rpbrown Premium Member

    437
    246
    63
    I was lucky, my wife agreed to me joining and all was good through the years until I became WM. Once I took the East, my time was really taken up by the lodge. Besides the normal activities and such, I would be called at work and at home all of the time. She began to get upset when I continuously got called at home about dinner time. In fact it got to the point where I would turn my phone off until after dinner to keep her happy.
    After all, a happy wife means a happy life. With this said, take your time. Masonry will still be here in 5 or so years. Perhaps take her to an open function of the lodge to get to know other families. But most important is your duty to God, your family, and yourself.
     
  19. Keith C

    Keith C Registered User

    902
    1,037
    93
    I am not sure what jurisdiction you are under, nor what two meetings you are discussing.

    The Process with our lodge, and at least the other lodges in our District in PA, is that a potential candidate will usually be in contact with one or another brother in the lodge, or, if they contacted the Grand Lodge inquiring about membership, will contact the Secretary. They will then be invited to attend a dinner which take place before our stated meetings each month. Usually they will attend a few dinners and get to know some of the brothers, before submitting a petition. Once the petition is read at a Stated meeting an Investigation Committee is appointed by the Worshipful Master. This Investigation Committee meets with the petitioner, at their home, with their family present. This is the only "meeting" where we expect a wife / SO to attend.
     
    Warrior1256 likes this.
  20. Warrior1256

    Warrior1256 Site Benefactor

    7,463
    3,401
    183
    This is the way it was with me.
     
    GGG likes this.

Share My Freemasonry